Well I was off to such a good start last week and now this week is kicking my butt. Today was not a good day. It wasn't a bad day, but it wasn't good. And tomorrow I have to be at work about an hour earlier than I normally get there, so I'm not thrilled about that at all. I have not worked out this week at all. I could run tonight and I might still, but I am so emotionally drained that I just don't feel like I have the energy.
I struggle, almost daily, in my job. I work with kids who are a victim of their circumstances. And as violent or mean or seemingly deceitful as the may appear, they are just kids! It seems to quick to blame the kids or to even get punitive, when you've run out of options. When you can't blame the kids, it's easy to blame the parents or family members who raised the kid, usually abusing them in the process. But we can't blame the parents completely either. Most of them grew up with abusive and neglectful parents who weren't able to teach them anything else. It's a cycle. And I don't know how to stop it. I don't know how to help these kids. I don't know how to fix it for them and stop them from going down the same path as their parents. So day after day I try to do my best. And I could do a lot better, I know it. But still, I try day after day to be there. To talk to them, to try to show them a different path and motivate them to make better decisions. It is just a constant struggle because it never seems like enough.
one of those weeks...
not a bad day at all.
Well, the day started out so-so and then got drastically better. Only getting about 5 hours of sleep is something that will always throw me off. I dragged my butt out of bed, showered and put on some fancy-schmancy clothes for court. Then I drove downtown and got the pleasure of driving around for 15 minutes trying to find a parking spot that was not metered or in a sketchy part of the city. After finally finding a spot, walking 15 minutes, and going through security only to figure out I was in the wrong building, I finally got to the court. It was 9:10 and the room was already packed full with a line out the door. It was rediculous. Thankfully I only waited about two hours, which is apparently better than the four hours that someone I know spent at Colonie Traffic Court.
Ultimately I got it reduced to a non-moving violation with a fine, which made me ecstatic. I really didn't expect to get off, but was very, very thankful that I made out the way I did.
Work was not very eventful, but once I got home I had a card from teh fiance waiting for me. It totally made my day. I didn't work out today, and I did eat a piece of cake, so I am feeling a little guilty. Tomorrow I need to step it up.
because I am not sleeping right now...
I guess it's a good a time as any to write a post.
Awesome weekend. Love Eric more every single day. Some chores, some exploring, some playtime with kittens, etc...
We went to Ithaca to explore the waterfalls around the area. We were looking for an easily accessible waterfall where we could hold our wedding ceremony. Taughannock Falls, Buttermilk Falls and Ithaca Falls were on our list. The plan was to hold ceremony at the falls, then go to a restaurant with our 30 guests for dinner. Our new plan is way better! There is a covered picnic shelter with a fireplace right on Cayuga Lake. It is walking distance to waterfalls.
I am calling tomorrow to reserve it. Can't wait!
Tomorrow I also get to go try and fight a speeding ticket. I know, I know. Hopefully it goes well. The cop who pulled me over said that if I went in person, she'd have it reduced to a non-moving violation. Now I just have to pray she did what she said and let the cop who will be there know. Hopefully I can get it reduced and not break the bank paying the fines.
one more note-to-self...
Check the brakes before you leave! My rear brake was really worn and in need of being replaced. It worked, and it was just a short, mostly flat ride, but still could have used a once over before heading out.
"coming thru on the right!"
It was a beautiful evening, so I said "on the right" quite a few times tonight while out on the bike path with the roadie.
A few "note-to-self" points to remember:
give yourself more than 10 minutes to get your bike prepared for the first ride of the season.
make sure you actually own a spare tube
remember to tighten things (aero bars, seat post, straps on the bike bag)
buy new helmet, since my head is bigger than everyone else's in my house and my helmet had to get tossed last year after a crash where I hit my head
get a new saddle - a year of not riding does not make it any more comfortable
tighten the screw that holds my buckle-thingy on my shoes so I can actually tighten the straps.
Other than those things, the ride was magnificent. My seat is really uncomfortable. I think it is too narrow because it hits my butt bones in a weird spot. It would have been a little better if I had tightened my aero bars, because it's the most comfortable position to ride in. However when I went to lean onto them, he right one was loose. It seems like when I can't stretch out a tiny bit more, I get a tightness in the muscles on the back and left sides of my neck. The bike path had a lot of debris on it, mostly from all the down branches and the leftovers from the town's clean up.
I had never taken this trail in this direction before, so it was all new to me. I was suprised to see that the path ends and puts you on streets after about 4 miles, but after a small debate about whether or not I wanted to cross the highway (there is a stretch with at-grade intersections) I kept going.
Once I got home I used mapmyrun.com to map the route, and below you can see my stats.
WHO?! would ever think to put the bike route and the truck route one the same (narrow) road!!!!
Thankfully it was not busy and the one truck that passed was kind and gave me lots of room.
Made it all the way to the river. That's a view of troy. I crossed the bridge to get into troy, then turned around and came back.
Sunset along the bike path on my way back to the car.
it's almost spring time...
Today Eric and I headed to some local trails with Marley to hike around for a while and see how wet the trails still are. It was a beautiful, sunny 55 degrees. Marley was a very happy puppy finally getting out and about for a few hours. The trails were pretty dry for hiking, but probably are still a tad muddy for biking. There were a few sections that were very wet, but not too many. However the couple of bad ice storms have left a lot of down trees and branches that were covering the trails. So Eric and I ended up doing a fair amount of trail maintenance while we were out there. It was a lot of fun and I can't wait to get out for a good mtn bike ride!
amping up
Got my bike back. No squeaks. Brakes tight, gears change smooth as butter. One of the women working at the shop commented that she liked my bike! :-D Me too!
I'm thinking about switching to clipless again. I know that I'll switch the roadie back over. My dad hasn't ridden that bike more than two or three times, so I am not going to worry about it. (I switched back to reg pedals so he could ride it as well.) I am debating about the mtn bike. I have had mixed experiences with clipless. I have the scars to prove that it was not as smooth as it was with the roadie. But I've gotten a lot better at mountain biking and am a lot more confident. Maybe I'll give it a month or two and then make the decision.
I'm hoping to get out on the road bike on Sunday. Eric is coming to Albany this weekend, but his bike is at his parents. I'd love for the snow to melt and the trails to start drying up asap. Two weekends ago at Central Park in Schenectady, the trails were all ice and snow. Latham has a little less snow on the trails at Colonie Town Park, but last time we there there it was still snow and ice. I really just want to ride.
Maybe I'll swap pedals on the roadie tomorrow while I'm waiting for Eric to get here. I'm also thinking about changing my seat and grips on my mountain bike.
completely unproductive
Ok, so I have an issue. I am not sleeping at all during the weeks, which leads to exhaustion, no motivation, and being very tired on the weekends.
Today I planned to work from home on the laptop to get some progress notes done. That did not happen. I couldn't sleep last night, so I was tossing and turning until at least 2. That was the second night in a row, so this morning I turned off my alarm while still asleep and then slept for two more hours.
I did not pick up my moutain bike from the shop. (It was ready a week ago.)
I did not take marley to the park.
I did not do any work at home.
I did not go to the gym or work out.
Tomorrow is cooking night at work so I will have to wait until Thursday to pick up my bike. I know that exercise will help me fall asleep, but finding the time and motivation to get out there after along day of work and little sleep the night before. I think I'm going to cancel the gym membership since I'm not using it much and try to get out there and start running and biking now that it's finally getting warm out.
I really need a swift kick in the butt.
excited
I'm getting excited because shopping for Eric's birthday is so much fun. (It's in April) I'm outfitting him with everything he doesn't already have for hiking/camping. We got a lot of stuff together last year and had a great overnight trip and a ton of fun day trips. This year we want to do more overnight trips, so that means Eric needs some new stuff. For instance, his sleeping bag is one of the old, huge rectangular ones that does not compress at all and weighs a ton. It literally took up almost all of his pack last year on our Overlook trip. It's exciting because I can't wait to go camping again and it's fun getting the last few things we need for our overnight trips.
We tried to get in a short hike today, but it started to rain heavily and we opted to go back home. Marley did get to wear his backpack again, even though it wasn't for very long. We put a full water bottle in each side, which caught him off guard. He was walking funny and didn't want to run with it on. He's starting to get used to it though.
sigh
Well I could write about how much I am beginning to hate Sundays and having to say goodbye to Eric, but that's probably not that interesting.
I did not make it to the gym much last week, between a cold and a hellish week at work, I just completely bailed on it. I did get my bike to the bike shop for a full tune up. I was going to take both the roadie and the mtn bike in, but decided to just take the mountain bike, since that's the one that's more in need. I'll have to see how the roadie is this spring and make the decision then. Even though I am planning to ride it in the duathlon, I am not planning to do a ton of road biking this year, so I didn't really want to drop $70 on a tune up for a bike that I will probably ride half a dozen times. So we'll see. But my mtn bike will be ready on Tuesday, so I'm hoping that maybe this week or next week I can get out for a ride. My thought is that I can get out for a quick ride while the ground is still frozen, since a lot of the trails around here take a while to dry out in the spring time.
I think we have really settled on a wedding plan now. This weekend was a little stressful in that department because Eric and I were feeling a little guilty for cutting out some family members if we went with an immediate-family-only wedding. But after talking it over with our parents, we have gotten the reassurance and support that we needed to move forward. I am relieved and excited.
Eric and I tried to hike twice this weekend, but for there not being a lot of snow on the ground, the trails are covered with hard snow and ice. We were either breaking through the snow on every other step or slipping on the ice. So we just got out long enough to wear Marley out a bit.
and then there are the days where life kicks you in the ass
Today was an awful day. I was rudely woken up twice before I needed to get up because first my parents were arguing and then my sibs were getting ready for school, loudly. I was late to work, had to meet with kids when I first arrived and still try to make it to med reviews on time. Was late to med reviews, and then med reviews ran late because of a teacher who wouldn't shut up, and then I was late leaving for a meeting 30 minutes away. On my way, I sped through a speed trap going 7 miles an hour over the limit and was pulled over and ticketed. I was SO mad. The cop did say that if I appeared in court she would get it dropped to a violation so that it didn't go on my license. That was gracious, but it ruined my day anyway. I have worked so hard to avoid tickets because of my job. I used to speed all the time, bordering in recklessness. This ticket totally ruined my day.
I made it to the meeting 20 minutes late, and that meeting ran very late and I was late getting back to campus to get to our weekly Cottage Team meeting. We held a meeting for one of our kids that really needs to be moved to a more secure placement, because he is extremely violent on a daily basis and is constantly targeting and beating up his peers and staff. We made a plan for that, however before the meeting was even over the psychiatrist was called in to order a prn for the kid we were just talking about who was tearing up the unit and ended up in a restraint after assaulting staff. The prn (meds given during crisis to calm the person down) took effect almost immediately and the kid was able to calm down and eat a snack before going to sleep.
This poor kid has been abused and neglected his entire life. His parents started telling him he wasn't going to amount to anything when he was an infant. Because there were rarely bruises that were documented, CPS were unable to remove him and his 4 younger siblings for years, despite ongoing legal battles. This poor kid is more angry than any person I have ever met in my entire life. And he's got very good reason to be. But at the same time he puts every other person in the cottage at risk every single day. Seeing him in the restraint today really made me question why I had chosen to go into social work.
Add to that two more crises, and a kid who ran away and is now missing, and this is completely and totally the worst day at work I have had in a while.
I am still really struggling. I have the occasional day where I know that there is something that I have forgotten to do for a few days, like putting off a meeting with a kid to deal with others who are in crisis, and I start feeling like a failure in my job. I know that I'm not, and it's only the rare occasion that I feel like that, but today was one of those days. I just wasn't feeling like I make a difference or that I'll ever be good enough at my job. And I miss Eric and I just want to be living with him and not driving 5-6 hours each weekend to see each other. And I want us to have jobs and to do our laundry together and to cook dinner together and work out together and just be near him. 6-7 months left of this long distance crap too. I don't know how we'll get through it, but I know we will.
back at it.
Well I am finally back at the gym. I was doing pretty well from Thanksgiving to Christmas and then kind of let things go through Jan and Feb while I was trying to get all of my work done before I left for a week in Chicago. My difficulties are that I hate to get up early, so working out in the morning is not at all reliable with me. My gym is packed on the way home from work. If I get there before 4:30 I can lift and get on a cardio machine before the rush gets there, but that's difficult most days. So my typical routine is to go home, eat a light snack and wait out the after work rush, and then go work out after 7.
So today was just some light cardio to get my toes wet. I wanted to lift some, but the place was packed since it was only 6:30, so I am going to try tomorrow for more cardio and lifting.
THANK YOU!
Ok, two wedding posts that rock my world.
2000 Dollar Budget Wedding wrote a post that quoted a post by hortense on Jezebel. Love both posts.
From the post by hortense:
"Weddings have become a serious business: the average American couple spends at least $28,082 on a single day of celebrating, though one wonders if the economy tanking will finally put an end to such spending. But perhaps the worst part of Wedding Mania is that the true meaning of getting married gets lost."
"All I'm saying is, world, for some Officially Engaged People, the world does not revolve around our upcoming nuptials. Yes, we're excited. And we're happy that you're excited too. But some of us just want to do things our way. We go to your weddings and enjoy the open bar and celebrate your love in the way you've planned it out, so just let us do our own thing, okay? I know that weddings are mass-marketed, and there are expectations placed upon us that society thinks we need to meet, and I am not dumping on people who are really in love and celebrate it in the traditional way, like my older sister did and my younger sister plans to do because that's your thing and it's awesome, and your weddings were and will be fun and beautiful, but for fuck's sake, universe, some of us just don't feel like picking out table settings or touring country clubs or meeting with florists. What is an exciting time of planning and sharing for some couples is a total drag for others, dig?"
From 2000 Dollar Budget Wedding:
"When people hear that you're engaged and they ask to see the ring or they ask about the date, it feels like they're more excited about the wedding part than the marriage part. Maybe that's what makes me a little sad. The wedding is not the piece de resistance. It's not the culmination or the end goal. It's just the beginning. It's like a bon voyage party on the dock. You bring all your friends and family together to celebrate the impending journey (a journey for which they will be fellow passengers)."
THANK YOU! What started as an outdoor wedding/family reunion that I wanted to be relaxed and unique and to ignore the stereotypical traditions that didn't fit us quickly turned into the beginnings of a traditional, mass-media marketed wedding.
From my parents pushing us towards the expensive photographer to the wedding dress sales lady pushing me to finance a dress that was out of the budget that I set for myself, it's been an uphill battle.
I am so happy to read online about couples who are shirking the traditional weddings, as well as to hear support from some people I know who are not doing things the traditional way. Because there are only a few things about the wedding day that I want to be "traditional".
The most important thing in both the posts that I read was the meaning of a wedding and beginning a marriage. My main argument for choosing not to spend thousands of dollars on a wedding reception is to not put ourselves under financial strain and to save the money for our future. One of the main things couples fight over is finances and living together, buying a house, and starting our own family is important to us.
I had trouble planning because I am not someone who spent years dreaming of her wedding. I didn't have a wedding dress or centerpieces planned out. I just want to marry the man of my dreams, with my dad walking me down the aisle. And I want to do that outside in nature, which is where I feel at home. And Eric wants the same thing, so, that's what we are going to do. But it's great to hear others feeling the same way!
My marriage to Eric will not be summed up by our wedding day. Or the bill. It is summed up by our laughs, our long talks about everything, the way it feels to be wrapped up in his arms, and our deep, lasting, and true love for each other. That is something that has grown over the years that we've known each other and the nearly 9 months that we have been dating and that will continue to grow for the rest of our lives.
back to life...
Well I'm finally back home to Latham and am relaxing before jumping back to work tomorrow. It was such a great trip. We did a lot and thankfully had this past weekend to recover before jumping back into our normal workday routines. I did finally manage to get some clothes into the wash, so at least I will have something to wear to work tomorrow. For some reason everyone in my family decided to do their laundry tonight, so I got at the end of a long line.
I think the worst part about being in a long distant relationship, aside from not being able to see Eric during the week, is the not sleeping. I typically sleep like a baby when we are together, but the first 2-3 nights apart, I can't fall asleep. My mind is running and I toss and turn. By the time Thursday rolls around, I am so exhausted from not getting any sleep the rest of the week, I fall to sleep at a decent hour and then spend the weekend making up for the week. It's a nasty schedule.
On our trip we made some plans though. We are both going to do a race in the late spring. He's going to do the Keuka Lake Triathlon and I'm going to do the duathlon (so I don't drown). I know, I know. I am the queen of "I can/will do it" with maybe a month or two of follow through and I never actually make it to the race. I have perfected the art of running out of steam and never getting to the start line. But, Eric and I will be motivating each other. And it's a race that is not overly ambitious, but will push both of us. Now that I'm back to my normal routine, I'm going to be getting my butt to the gym starting tomorrow.
This also means that I need to get both my bikes into the shop asap for tune ups. I have tried my best to do my own tuning and maintenance on the bikes, but I think they both need a professional look-over. I am just not a natural bike mechanic. I'd like to get them in now before the spring rush hits. Speaking of, I suppose that means that I need to find a bike shop in Albany.
We have also changed our wedding plans. We are scaling things down significantly and basically planning a simple ceremony outdoors with just grandparents, parents and siblings present. That still leaves us with 25 people, including Eric and I, and will just eliminate all of the wedding headaches. I want to be married outside, somewhere beautiful, to Eric. I don't care about anything else, and am so frustrated with the wedding industry. There are so many pressures and everything is so expensive. After long discussions, Eric and I just want to put that money toward our future, not one big party that isn't that important to us. I haven't told my family about the new plans yet, because I wanted to make sure that we were certain and had a new ceremony location picked out, and unfortunately we are still getting a lot of pressure from his family. It's not bad pressure really, but everyone thinks that it is just us not having the money as opposed to not wanting to spend the money on a wedding reception (whether it is our money or our families' money). Because we are cutting the guest list even further, we have decided to move our location to someone much closer to Eric's family, so we need to find a new ceremony location. Our reception will now just be in a restaurant afterwards. We still have details to work out, but we are both very comfortable with this decision. It might seem weird since it'll be "my day" but I don't want to be the center of attention all day long for so may people, and neither does Eric. Plus neither one of us wants to dance, and we are just having a lot of trouble finding a middle ground for a larger reception. We are both just so incredibly lucky and excited to have found each other and to be so incredibly happy, that nothing else matters that much. We'll have to see how this pans out over the next few weeks.
home sweet home
Well Eric and I are back from Chicago! We had a fabulous trip. We saw a lot, did a lot and had a fantastic time together. We conquered public transportation, walked probably 10-15 miles over all of the days (at least 5 of which was in one day), saw the city from both sea level and the 99th floor of the Sears Tower, and laughed a LOT.
Pictures will be on flickr sometime this weekend.
Marley was VERY excited to see us.
less than one week...
until Eric and I are in Chicago! I am so excited. We are planning to be very touristy on our trip. Sears Tower, multiple museums, Garret's popcorn, Superdog, Potbelly's, Soldier Field, etc... There will be lots and lots of pictures. Hopefully with my sister there to guide us we won't be toting any huge maps around though. I've done pretty well getting prepared for the trip. I made a google map with the location of all the things that we want to do to figure out which ones are close to each other. Several of the museums have free admission while we are there, so that is very cool as well. This week will be busy with lots and lots of work, as well as shopping, laundry and packing.
There is a place near us called Plato's closet. You bring your used, popular-branded clothes there and they buy them and resell them. All through college I lived in American Eagle pants, since they have cuts that fit my muscular thighs. As much as I'd like to hang on to them until I fit into them again, I am taking them all in to see if I'll get anything for them, so I can buy clothes that actually fit me now. And, now that I'm working and not still in school, I need clothes that are a little more professional. I might even buy a skirt!
Eric and I are toying with the idea of registering for a duathlon. I've really not been very active for the last month or so, but I know I need something to motivate me, and this race will be a whole lot easier than running a half marathon like he and I had wanted to do last fall. Being long distance makes it difficult, and my gym wants $15 for a guest pass. Plus we tend to eat out on weekends and hit up the movies. I need ot opt for the baby carots over the buket of popcorn I guess. But he's wanted to do a triathlon for quite a while (Just a short one). I would try, but I don't swim. I can, but I have a very long history with ear infections and swimmer's ear, and that has left me with minimal swimming skills. Add a hundred other people to the mix swimming right next to me and I'll drown. But I am pretty sure that I can run 3 miles, bike 13.8 and run another 3 miles. I could probably do it right now without dying, but it wouldn't be pretty. So we're debating about it and I'm probably going to just register. We're thinking about the Keuka Lake Tri/Du on June 7.
I have been busting my butt at work to get caught up with all of my paperwork before I go on vacation, and most of my longer reports and court dates are over for a few months, so when I get back from Chicago I should have a little more time to work out. I am actually really eager to get back to the gym. I just know that I need to get my paper work done before I leave. It's hanging over my head and I already know how hard it is to get caught up after only 2 days away so I am nervous to take a whole week away.
Things are really good though. It's such a great feeling. Some of my anxiety about the wedding and moving and job hunting has gone away. I'm trying to put it out of my head for a few months so I can just relax and enjoy springtime wit Eric. It's going to be hectic enough with my grandmother and his dad both having surgery.
so frustrated...
I am so frustrated right now. I had a very long day (although a little over an hour of it was spent playing games on my new cell phone waiting to be called in for court). I went to court for work, and basically there is a mentally retarded schizophrenic 17 year old girl on my caseload and the county is basically washing their hands of her since she's turning 18 on Monday and has a mother who wants to take her home. A very low-income mother who has mental health issues of her own and no supports or services to keep her kid safe. And this is all on top of years of recommendations from various psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, etc... who say that she will never be able to live in the community. And they are setting her up to walk down the street on Monday. Did I mentioned that she's been hospitalized for almost a month for severe psychosis? She's being discharged tomorrow morning. It just makes me so angry. It's not right. I know that there is no money right now, but by wiping our hands of her now, she will be a bigger burden to the community later. If she survives living in the community that is. Hopefully we can scramble to save this kid.
On the other hand, we are likely changing our wedding plans. I don't know what it will end up looking like, but we will figure it out. Although I will be wearing my dress, now that I've picked it up.
Bed time now I suppose.
feeling somewhat anxious...
Eric and I talked a lot tonight about our wedding and buying a house and starting a family and just being so excited and yet knowing that we have several more months of living 3 hours apart. I think that my mind started running a mile a minute after I got our first quote from a caterer for our wedding. We have a budget, a minuscule budget in the wedding world, but even that seems like so much money to spend on one day. I don't need a wedding or to be the center of attention to get married to Eric. We just need each other. With the economy sucking, at least one of us needing to find a new job, wanting to buy a house, and start a family sometime, I am having a very difficult time being okay spending so much money when it's not going to make us any more married.
So when Eric and I were half-jokingly talking about eloping, we both said that if we did that, we would want to wait until we were living together so we didn't get married while we are still 3 hours away from each other. That led to worrying about getting a job out near where he lives if he doesn't find a different position, which of course led to an hour long search for social work positions within 50 miles of Eric.
I love my job, but I hate Albany. I mean it's not horrible, but the traffic sucks and the drivers are awful and the cost of living is high.
Now it's after midnight, I can't sleep, and I am feeling so unproductive. I need to get my social work license like yesterday, and I need to get back to the gym like last week, and I need to do all of my paperwork before Eric and I leave for Chicago on the 14th. Yikes! So little time, so much to do.
And not only do I need to get back to the gym, specifically I need to get running and biking, since Eric and I are signing up for a duathlon together in the end of May/beginning of June. OMG. I might even have a chance in hell of beating Eric since his mountain bike's knobby tires will be hard pressed to keep up against my roadie's slicks. Nah, he'll kick my ass, but it'll be fun staring at his cute butt while I try to chase him down.
Golly I need to get to bed. Hopefully I will feel more productive tomorrow.
another weekend, here and gone....
Things are going so amazingly with the fiance. They couldn't get better. Unless, of course, we weren't 3 hours away from each other. It is hard only have about 48 hours together each week. We barely get used to being around each other again and one of us is driving away. But at least we have a vacation (Chicago!!!) coming in two weeks. Then in April we'll have two long weekends, if not a whole week, when Eric is on break.
Living in Albany is getting old. It'd be one thing if Eric lived near here, but he doesn't and it makes it harder to tolerate living with my parents and step sibs. I love them all a ton, but it's different when it is day-in, day-out. And Dad and Vicki fight now and then, and it's just tough living here with that. I'm extra sensitive to it, I suppose, because my parents fought for years. But it's not pleasant for anyone, and my dad is so damn stubborn that sometimes it takes a few days for them to work it all out. Add that to a super small house, 6 people, a dog, two cats and missing Eric so much, and it gets old quick. I am so sick of the traffic and it taking half an hour to drive 7 miles to get home. I am just really ready to be living with Eric and not with my parents.
There's nothing else going on really, except our vacation and missing Eric. Chicago should be a blast, and at least it will break things up a bit. Plus we'll have a nice three day weekend when we get back.
sick
Well, it's lovely that after one of the most stressful weeks I've had at my job, I am spending the weekend sick in bed. I'm at Eric's this weekend, and I feel bad that I have been such a downer. I haven't had the energy to do much of anything, and have been sleeping a lot.
But there is wonderful news - Eric's brother is engaged!!! I love them both, but she is an exceptionally awesome person and it is going to be sooooo much fun planning our weddings together!
Eric is taking Marley for a week. I'm happy he'll have someone to keep him company, and it'll be nice to be able to work some long nights without feeling guilty that I'm neglecting him. I really need to get caught up before we leave for Chicago, which will mean working a few really long days to get everything done.
mmm... apples...
covered in caramel. I don't think that's exactly the healthiest way to eat apples, even if it was fat free, but I had a sweet tooth and it's the ONLY thing in the house that isn't dark or bittersweet chocolate. For me it's milk chocolate or nothing.
This has been a week from hell. Work has been non stop with what feels like no productivity. Monday, thankfully I was off, but it just made the rest of the week even worse. It has just been pure chaos, people yelling at me and having to police the kids' video games (yea, I'm really putting that MSW to good use!) Tomorrow I have nothing on my calendar except a session with a kid, and then it's office work and leaving early to go see Eric. Next weekend, when he comes here, we are going to try to schedule a sit down with a potential caterer for the wedding. I honestly think that will be the most nerve wracking part of the entire wedding planning process. It's the most expensive part of our wedding, well over half our budget, and I'm hoping that the quote we get is not too outrageous. Once we have them booked, there is not too much to do for a few months.
Except... go to Chicago! Yep, that's right. I'm dragging the boy onto a plane (never mind the jet that had an emergency landing in the Hudson River) and we are flying to a major city. We are staying with my sister for a few nights, then spending our last night a day on our own in the city. I can't wait to see my niece and sister. Plus, it will be our first trip together so I am excited to have that experience with Eric. We have a lot that we want to see and do while we are in Chicago, including a trip up the Sears Tower, a stop at Garrett's Popcorn Shop, and lunch at Potbelly's. Eric and I are incredibly awesome and despite the long distance, are head over heels in love and just can't believe how lucky we are that things worked out this way for us. We take off Valentine's Day, so we should have a great holiday together.
I have totally not worked out at all lately. I tried to go last night, but the parking lot was completely full, which means that there was probably no open cardio equipment anyway. These last few weeks have been so busy that I don't have time for the gym. I've been doing work at home on my laptop, and then just trying to get enough sleep, talk to Eric, and do a few wedding-related things and I am spent. Plus I feel incredibly guilty for leaving Marley home for such long stretches, though the fam lets him out. I am hoping to get caught up at work, and then try harder to get to the gym. I just have the hardest time getting to sleep during the week, which is only compounded by the constant feelings that there is stuff I should be doing that I have forgotten about.
Speaking of which, I am going to bed.
Chicago bound!
Eric and I are going to Chicago in February. We leave four weeks from this past Saturday to be exact. We have the flight booked and a hotel booked near the airport for our last night there (super cheap on priceline - 4 star for $45 dollars!!!!). We have our list of touristy things to do, including Shedd Aquarium, the Field Museum of Natural History, the Sears Tower Skydeck, The Museum of Science and Industry, a trip to Garretts Popcorn, and lunch at Potbelly's. We are seeing a show at Second City and an hour one day will be spent with my sister trying on bridesmaid dressed for my wedding! One of the few nice things about David's Bridal is that they are everywhere.
I can't wait to get there. I am very prepared, if only to alleviate some of Eric's nervousness of traveling in a huge city that he's never been to before. And to be perfectly honest, while I have been to Chicago before, it was limited to a week in the suburbs, and three days downtown where I never went anywhere that wasn't walking distance from the hotel. Also, my sister is taking time off while we are there, and despite being a NY to Chicago transplant, has never been to a lot of the touristy places. Now we just need to gather up two carryon size sutcases with wheels and we'll be pretty much ready to go. I specify that the carryons need to have wheels, because I have had to rush through a close connection in Newark before, and by close connection I mean 13 minutes, and it is no fun when you are carrying an overstuffed duffel bag that thankfully no one ever made me check because it was too big for a carryon. Right now we are scheduled to have at least 1 1/2 hours for each connection in Newark, which should be plenty if the flights are on time. Here's to good weather!
Other than planning our trip, there is not too much new going on. We are working on wedding planning and trying to find a budget that we feel comfortable with. It's all the little things that get added in or that you forgot about. Right now we need to sit down with our top potential caterer and hash everything thing and get a real quote. I am totally not a typical bride. To be perfectly honest, a tiny ceremony, with just immediate families, would be more than enough for me. The important thing is Eric, not the party to go with it. I don't really like to be the center of attention, and I'm struggling with the idea of spending thousands of dollars on a wedding in our current economy, when Eric and I want to buy a house and start a family. We'll just have to see how things pan out.
randomness...
I hate post titles. Usually I talk about more than one topic and it never seems to sum it all up, and is annoying to try and break creative for every damn post.
Today I found THE DRESS. That is right, I have found my wedding dress. Everyone who has seen a picture has loved it. At first my inclination was to show no one, or just my mom and leave everyone else in the dark. But my excitement and insecurity got the best of me and I've shown a ton of people. Well five. My dad's reaction was the best. A shocked "WOW" followed by a few minutes of silence before he proclaimed that it was "the dress" and I was stunning.
I would like to rant about David's Bridal though. I have been there three times. The first time I went alone and had a great woman helping me out. She was nice, very helpful, but didn't ask too many questions and knew when to keep her mouth shut and just do her job. Very polite and knowledgeable though. The second time our lady kept disappearing on us, it took forever to get the dresses we wanted to try on, and she was not very helpful. It was good to have my mom there with me to help me in and out of dresses. The third time, today, was the worst. I was on hold for over 5 minutes just to try to set up an appointment. Then I arrived and there was no one to greet me. I finally found someone and the woman that was supposed to be working with me hadn't shown up to work yet. So I started looking around and pulling out dresses on my list. Finally she shows up, and just didn't seem very with it. She did do a good job of pulling all the dresses on my list, but wasn't overly helpful with me. She kept taking the hangers and bags out of my room for the dress I had on so I had to hand her the dress right after taking if off while still undressed so the dresses didn't fall on the ground. And she seemed to talk just to hear herself talk. I didn't want to talk to her about what she thought because she didn't know anything about me or my wedding and I don't care about her oppinion. Also, I am not looking for the one-and-only perfect dress. I am looking for a beautiful yet affordable gown that flatters my shape and matches the styles that Eric and I have looked at. (He has not and will not see the dress until the day of). The woman grabbed two gowns that were nearly $1000 each and put them in with the dresses on my list. I tried on the first one and fell in love with it, only to realize after that it was way more than the budget I set for myself. I moved on. I never tried on the second one, despite it being a beautiful dress, because I saw the price tag. She asked me when I handed it to her why I didn't try it on, and I said because it was too much money. Apparently that was her cue to start talking about how it was my wedding and I should have the perfect dress, and wouldn't you know they offered 0-down no interest financing. For a dress. That I'll wear once. To a picnic/barbeque wedding. Gee let me think.
So I got it down to three dresses, that I loved. The price of one ruled it out because I loved the other two just as much, and then it came down to fit. I have a large chest and the one dress just fit it better. And everyone I asked liked it better. But when I came out with the dress I like the best, the woman didn't even wait for me to really see it in the mirror, and was already saying that she could tell by the look on my face it was not the dress for me.
Either way, I guess, I found the dress. And it's on sale, well within my budget, and a style that shouldn't be too affected if I loose a little weight because it's very flowy with a nice empire waist.
I should be sleeping in stead of writing this. I was trying to get to bed early, but it seems like it never happens when I am alone during the week. Usually when Eric is there I fall asleep easily. I feel so incredibly lucky right now, that the last day or two I have been thinking that something bad has got to happen because while I am a fairly lucky person, there's no way I could be this lucky. I am going to schedule a physical and blood work since I haven't had one in several years just to make sure I am not dying or something. I have been making some much better choices for my health, but I am hoping that I am changing my ways early enough to not suffer consequences for the bad habits of my early 20's. I do need to switch the diet cherry pepsi for some more water and eat a few less sweets and fats, but overall I am doing pretty well with my diet.
Apparently my insurance company is stupid. I've been having some issues with my real mom (I also call my step mom my mom), her drinking, and her lack of involvement in my life. Especially with the wedding and a family coming up in the next few years, I am wondering what that means and how to deal. So I decided maybe I should go see a counselor for a few sessions and try to work it all out. The insurance company sends me a list of providers, I chose one who is local, and go to it. After the third session, the insurance company denies my claim. They changed their mind on the guy I guess. Now, instead of charging the insurance company $110 a session, they are offering to reduce the rate to $35? Well why not just do that in the first place? I mean I know they are out to make money, but it's rediculous. I don't know if I want to keep going. I don't feel like I need it as much as it is nice to have an educated, therapeutic, unbiased oppinon on my life and problems. I don't know what is going to change if I keep going. He's yet to say anything comepletely astounding to me, which I guess I should have expected since I'm smart, in the field, and very self aware. He did recommend a few books, but I'm not sold.
I keep waiting for the firestorm from Eric's ex to start up again now that Eric and I are engaged. She and her "friends" still send him emails and ims on a pretty regular basis. It's interesting considering less than a month after they ended she was ready to marry some army guy. I mean I know that Eric and I haven't exactly taken things slowly, but when you spend nearly 5 years wishing things had happened differently, never forgetting about the person and continuing to stay close friends, I don't think you need a lot of time to know if it's right. We both just knew. And it is completely different for both of us. There are no roller coaster rides of emotions. Eric doesn't have to worry that he will make one comment that will set me off, or that I will feel threatened by his family. I don't have to worry if I'm settling for a life that is less than what I want and have dreamed of. We are both mature, very committed, loving, appreciative, and happy to just be hapy together. Nothing anyone says or does will change what Eric and I have together. So I guess it doesn't matter that much, but in a way it is like a dark cloud that rolls in once in a while. I'd just like to move forward without having to worry about it anymore.
And I'm probably never going to get any sleep this week!
2009
The beginning of a new year is typically a time for reflection. Reflection of one's self, of the past year, and of resolutions that were accomplished and those that were not. In my last post I wrote about how challenging this past year has been and how much of my life was completely turned around. With all of that transition, I let a lot of my goals for the previous year go unmet, while I tried to figure out some of life's bigger questions. I kept up with my running through mid spring, and I am SO proud of the running I did. I really piled on the miles and was consistent for a few months. But then a lot of things happened and I let it all go. I am disappointed in that. I did not shed any weight, even the few pounds that have been plaguing me.
My goals for the new year:
1. Find, register for, and complete a race. It doesn't matter what it is or how long, just something to do.
2. Take at least two overnight trips to the Adks or Catskills over the summer.
3. Take a vacation with Eric.
4. Find the perfect wedding dress that fits my budget.
5. book location, caterer, photographer, and officiant for the wedding.
6. Spend lots of time hiking with Marley.
7. Mtn bike at least once a week.
8. Go to the gym at least 3 times a week through May 15.
9. Move in with Eric. (entails at least one of us finding a new job and moving)
as good a time as any
I suppose that the new Year is as good a time as any to resume posting here. Lately I have been pretty blogged out, and with a lot of transition and change going on in my life, I chose to not post in the last few months.
2008 has been a very eventful, challenging and exciting year. In February I went to Jamaica with a group from grad school. The trip was incredible and really challenged me in a lot of ways. I really started thinking about my life, what I wanted, and how to better appreciate all that I do have in my life. Not long after returning, I became single again, which was a sad but positive change for my life. In May I received my MSW from Roberts Wesleyan. That was also a very hectic time because I was packing to move out of Rochester while finishing finals. May 31 was my last day in Rochester, and I said goodbye to my closest friends and then drove away. It was much harder than I expected. I remembered sitting on milk crates and setting my tv up on a rubbermaid tub during my first week there. I remembered getting Marley while living there, long walks in the neighborhood, Jeremiah's for wings and beer, the ugly sweater party my old roommates threw that was a disaster, lots of all nighters and lots of shenanigans with Jen and Allison over the past year. When I moved to Albany, I moved back in with my parents, to ease the pressure to find a job and start paying back school loans. I'm still there now, but for how long is uncertain. Before moving to Albany, I saw an ex bf of mine, who I had remained very close friends with but hadn't seen since the day we broke up five years prior. He was very unhappy in his relationship and I was single, and not long after he broke up with his gf. We stayed friends and talked a lot and saw each other for a few weeks. Then we finally started dating again. In a way it was like getting to know someone all over again, becaaue despite keeping in close contact via emails, it felt knew; but it was also like coming home again. Little things might have changes, or even a few big things, but at the core of it all was something you loved and knew so well. And it was like that with him. It was very easy and fun and we were both so happy in a relationship for the first time in years. We quickly got very serious, since we both just knew we wanted to be with each other and had already been through it together once, it wasn't a hard decision to take things a little faster. On Dec 6 he proposed at one of our favorite parks, and now we are enjoying celebrating our engagement and the holidays with our families and are beginning to plan our wedding. We are still long distance, and will be until the school year is over for him, but that will definitely be changing on or around Sept 1. It's an incredible feeling. I spent 6 years in several relationships wondering if I'd ever "just know" or if I was just asking for too much and should be more appreciative of what I had. Well, it was easy with him and after a few weeks, I just knew that he was the one. There is not, and has not ever been, a single doubt in my mind that we will spend the rest of our lives together. And the ring is beautiful!
I'm back... I think...
I haven't posted in exactly two months. Wow. It's been quite a while since that's happened. I'm not sure what the reason was exactly. Probably some combination of a lot of transition in my life, feeling like I had to censor what I was writing because of certain people who were reading my blog, and feeling like a gigantic failure for failing to meet any of my athletic goals, or even to keep running and biking a decent amount.
I must say, life is absolutely magnificent! I am truly happy, both with myself and in my relationship. I am definitely the happiest I have ever been. Today I took Eric mountain biking with me in Oakley Corners State Park. We had a blast. It had been too long since my last ride, but we were out for two hours and both of us did well. I must say, for Eric's first mountain bike ride ever, he is a born natural. It was incredible to have him out there next to me, with Marley tagging along, enjoying one of the things I love to do.
My job is going well. The honeymoon phase of loving everything about my job has most certainly passed, but I still love a lot of the parts of my job, so I'd have to say I made out pretty darn well with my first job. I work with probably the most severely abused and neglected population of kids, who are incredibly demanding. They are inspiring and heartbreaking all at the same time. My coworkers are awesome and even though I am probably going to be behind in my paperwork until the day I move on from the position, I am enjoying it.
I am not sure how often I will be posting, or what the future of this blog will be. I don't even know who, if anyone, even reads it. (If you do, post a comment or something! let me know who is out there...) It seems pointless to keep writing when there might be absolutely no one reading it.
Who knows. Right now, I have to prepare for another week of work.
a speedy two miles
mile 1 - 9:30
mile 2 - 9:08
So apparently my one-two day a week running schedule is doing something for me since I'm running faster than I usually do. As is the theme for most of my posts recently, I need to get my butt in gear.
The weekend was spectacular. My sister and niece were in town, as was the boy, and we had a great time. My family threw me a surprise graduation party, albeit three months after I graduated. I suppose that just added to the element of surprise because I had absolutely no idea. Supposedly there were several slips during the days preceding the party, but they all went completely over my head. Even as we pulled up to the house, with 30 people standing outside and a huge graduate banner across the front of the house, I asked "who graduated?" Apparently, I did. I never suspected anything, and have never had a surprise party of any sort before, so it was pretty cool. While I love my sister and want her around every single day, I am glad that there are no more big dinners to eat for a while.
damn rain
Well there was supposed to be running and push ups this weekend, but instead I opted for sleeping through morning chores at the boy's house and heading to Ithaca for a leisurely afternoon at some waterfalls and the Ithaca Beer and Soda Co. I was pleasantly surprised with Partly Sunny, their seasonal summer wheat beer. The almost empty growler in the fridge is proof I suppose.
However last night I resumed the push up challenge and some other exercises indoors. The rain is starting to get annoying, and tonight I doubt I'll feel up for a run with the cold rain that's currently falling. Does anyone realize that it's August? Where's the heat and sun?
gone til Sunday
I'm out of town until Sunday and then my sister is in town, so posting the next week will be scarce. I am however keeping up with running and the push up challenge (I hope!!). Updates will come eventually.
flodding!
About 3:45 this afternoon the storms started! The rain was coming down sideways and we couldn't even see 10 feet from the office. By the time I left at 4:45 the parking lots were flooded as were most of the roads around us. I literally took of my shoes and walked through two feet of water just to get to my car. My main route home was very much flooded, but thankfully I heard about that before I left. As I drove down another street I passed the street in the picture below. Thankfully the intersection was at the high point, so I made it through. I tried my alternate rout home, but was met by cops who had blocked off several of the roads ahead. So I turned around and tried another route. I passed a street where the water was up 2/3 of the way past people's windshields. It was insane. Took nearly an hour to get home.
Check out the car just to the right of the sign. Water to the trunk!
I plan to run if the flooding and rain stop long enough.
pushup challenge day 2
So, I completed day 2 of the push up challenge. Initially I did 10 push ups, so today I did the middle column and a max of 10 push ups. I feel stronger already.
I didn't run today. My cousin had a birthday, so I went to that and swam for a while. Not quite a workout, but good enough. Tomorrow morning I am hoping to do a few laps of the neighborhood with Marley on roller blades. He needs to get some energy out.
go me.
miles: 3.4
time: 33:14
The run was broken into four .85 mile laps. The splits per lap were as follows:
8:27
8:28
8:20
7:57
I liked that I had negative splits. It was so hot and humid (81 degrees when I walked out the door) that Marley was tired in the first lap and so I blame the slow first two laps on Marley slowing me down.
Following that I did stairs, v sit ups, back crunches and then I restarted the 100 Push up challenge. Restarted is probably an overstatement because I don't think doing 2 days counts as really starting it. Especially when one of the days was the initial test. Hopefully I can keep this all up.
I'm at that place...
...where totally naive new social worker thinks she will change the world meets scared out of my mind that I'll fail miserably at this job. Yeah, I'm there.
Tomorrow is my first non-orientation day. I'm excited, but nervous. Once I meet the kids on my caseload, reality will hit hard and fast. I still feel like I don't know what I am doing, but I'm sure that's normal. I share an office with a woman who does the same job as myself, but with a different group of kids who are a few years younger than mine. Everyone is really nice though, so that helps me stay hopeful. It's so different from last year's internship where everyone had their office doors closed all day long and I felt completely overwhelmed and alone when I started.
Last night I toyed with the idea of getting up early to run before work, since last night I missed my run. First it was hot after work, then we ordered food, then we ate, then I had to digest, then the boy called, then it was already 11 and I was tired. From now on I go in at 9 instead of 8:30, so if I am up by 7 I can get in a 3 miler before work. I'm not sure if I'll ever kick into the early morning runner though, and it will only work for short runs, since I don't ever plan to get up much earlier than 7. At least not in the near future. Maybe if I get an apartment near work and replace my 30 minute commute with a 10-15 minute walk or bike ride, it'll be easier to run more than 3 miles in the mornings. I have a run scheduled for tonight though. The next two weeks are going to be hectic though, between the new job, my sister coming into town, and visiting the boy. After that things should hopefully settle for a little while and I can get into a groove with my schedule.
I am looking for apartments now, so hopefully I can find something affordable and very close to work. I really have a great work location because it is close to a couple of parks and some nice neighborhoods.
i didn't even get rained on...
So... this weekend was a big family camping trip to Alpine Lake (aka not real camping when you have laundry, hot showers, and working bathrooms). Sat we went to Great Escape. I wasn't overly interested in going, but the boy had a blast since he hasn't been on many water slides or roller coasters in his life. So it was fun seeing him having so much fun. Sunday we rented a canoe, but weren't able to take it out of the tiny lake that was at the center of the campground, so basically our view was limited to RVs and tents. There was a larger lake off of one side, that actually was surrounded by woods instead of tents and RVs, but it was blocked off. It was fun, and I managed to miss the pouring rain, so it was a success.
Today was the first day of work. It was just orientation stuff, so nothing too exciting. Although, I guess I am an adult now, since I actually was excited that by tax brackets and health insurance deductions and flex accounts. Tomorrow is more of the same and then things will really get underway on Wednesday.
I didn't run this weekend, but I was out and about and probably did about 10 miles of walking/biking. I'm trying to eat a little healthier and am keeping up the running. I haven't picked a training program yet but I will at some point. Right now I'm trying to keep up with running 3-5 miles a few times a week, and will gradually extend the long run. I don't plan on getting very complicated with the training.
5k fun
miles
1: 9:23
2: 9:18
3.1: 10:15
The boy and I decided on a late night run in the cooler night air. In my neighborhood there is a loop of two blocks that I can do that I mapped out to be exactly 1.0 miles. There is .1 mile short incline that leads to another side street that I added to the last lap for the extra .1 mile. It was hot despite running at night. It's 11 pm now and still 73 degrees out. I had a faster pace trying to chase the boy down, which was a nice surprise. I even double checked the distance to make sure that I was correct with my distances. It was a slightly easier effort than the last run, so I guess the fact that the runs are getting relatively easier is good.
On a completely unrelated topic, I think that toads are trying to kill me by way of heart attack. A few weeks back, while hiking the Indian Ladder trail a toad jumped into my ankle and scared me half to death. Well, it happened again. Last night, while mini golfing with the boy, I nearly stepped on one, which the boy was kind enough to tell me about, and when I looked down it jumped at me and startled me. Enough already.
i must be crazy...
...because I just registered for the US Marine Corps Toys for Tots Half Marathon. It's official. I'll either be lining up on race day (October 12) or kicking myself for wasting $45. I have just under 11 weeks to get in shape and able to run 13 miles. At least the course is flat with an overall loss in elevation. I guess I need a plan of some sort. At least the boy is good motivation because we are going to run together.
so I guess I'm back...
to running that is...
miles: 3.86
time: 38:14
I did well on the first half. I was tired, but it was later in the evening and it was lightly raining, so it wasn't too bad. Far better than the run I did last week. The last 1/4 of the run was tough, and while I pumped it out as hard as I could for the last 1/4 mile, I couldn't sustain that pace for 1/2 mile and walked the last quarter mile. But either way, it was a longer distance and an easier effort, so that's progress in my book.
consumerism frustrations
I hate that every time I walk into a store to browse I'm approached by someone who asks what I'm looking for and told to make sure I check out something on sale. But, when I am looking for something specific and want help, there is no one around. Or trying to get into a fitting room without having to hunt a clerk down. I hate that when I walk up to a cash register I am always asked if I have or want to sign up for a credit card. When I politely decline, saying I'm not interested, they then start in about the rewards program and how it's free. When I decline that, they have the guts to ask me for my phone number for coupons??? I guess they just don't get it that I want to pay and leave without giving out any personal information, getting tons of junk mail, or a credit card.
My detest for consumerism and shopping grows daily.
oh, I forgot to mention...
...that the boy's mom makes the best chocolate chip cookies ever. And I got a whole batch to take home with me. yum! that will really help me out with my goal of getting into shape and all that.
home again...
I'm finally back home after almost a week out of town. It's been nice to relax before I start my new job in a week. I did no hiking, running or biking, but did get the boy to agree to accompany me in an upcoming race (running) that does require training. Hopefully that will keep me motivated since we are doing it together. More about that later.
I did a lot of farm chores this week, as well as a lot of driving back and forth to Binghamton for my brother's basketball games. They played well, but lost the first two out of the three games they played. Not all of the regions in the Empire State Games are evenly matched, so the first two games were pretty tough.
I am contemplating selling my Canon S3 IS and replacing it with a high-end point and shoot. If I had a smaller camera I would take more pictures, and I don't really do much with the manual settings on the camera nor am I ready to take the next step and try to work with an SLR. Plus I want to go smaller and more practical, definitely not bigger. I'm not sure if it's worth it or not, but I'll have to look around and see what's out there.
This coming weekend is a large family camping trip in Lake George which should be a blast. The boy is coming and one of the days we are all going to Great Escape because someone got tickets super cheap.
Tomorrow I get finger printed and have to do some other random HR related things for my job, and then I have a week until I start. I've pretty much put it out of my mind though, and am trying not to worry or be nervous. I'll do fine.
I could run now, but since I have gotten very little sleep in the last 4-5 nights, I'm going to pass and head to bed early. Tomorrow begins training. Although I'm going to keep it very light and fun and focus on consistently paced miles and just getting the distance done.
bullet points
I can't think of a title and my thoughts are not very related, so bullets points is what you get.
- I'm officially employed. As in interviewed, passed reference check, got an offer, accepted the offer, filled out my I9 and W-4 forms, officially employed. I'm scared shitless too, because this isn't an internship where I'm "still learning". This is a real, MSW, social work job. I need to do well.
- I am not running tonight. I am rollerblading 4 miles with the pup, but taking tonight off from running since my legs are still fatigued from yesterday and I just ate an awesome home cooked meal and am stuffed.
- I'm heading out of town until about Sunday night. The boy is going to keep me motivated though, by running with me a few times while I'm gone.
- My brother is in the empire state games this weekend in Binghamton playing basketball in the open category. If any of you readers (i think i still have one or two, right? ) are in the area, you should stop by and support the men's Adirondack team. [Schedule] I'm hoping to get to see all of the games and most of the family is going as well. I heard a rumor about a trip to Brook's BBQ, the best BBQ in all of NY, and yes that includes Dinosaur BBQ, which is good, but not this good.
- Did you see my sidebar? Half marathon. Twelve weeks. No training plan yet. Holy crap.
omg, I ran!
miles: 3
time: 28:44
It was hot. Very hot. Halfway through I was praying that it would start pouring because at least then I'd be cooler. It didn't though, and I finished in the heat, sweating the whole way home. It felt great to run again. I've been feeling like I need to be doing more lately because I haven't been doing so well diet-wise. Too many meals eaten out, and too many late nights eating milk and cookies. So I'm hoping to make better food choices and try to run more regularly and also do some hiking and mountain biking.
Wintergreen Park, Canajohaire, NY
Today, after lunch with my grandma and brother, I packed Marley and two of my brothers and headed to Wintergreen Park. There is a deep gorge, including what my brother estimates to be a 50 foot waterfall. He's jumped off of it countless times, and added about a half dozen to his tally today. It's beautiful and very serene. It's wonderful to just sit there listening to the roar of the water. It was beautiful, despite on and off light rain. Marley was great and had a blast. No photos, but my brother took some pics and video on his cell, which I might get to post later.
gainful employment.
I don't know how this world works, but I'm starting to believe that you really do get what you need, to quote the Rolling Stones. I've been a little down lately, missing my roommates and friends in Rochester and not feeling like I was doing anything productive. I feel like I'm supposed to have everything figured out by now. I guess I just have to learn to accept that I'm always going to be a work in progress and I'm always going to be me. I have to learn to be more content with myself and where I am.
Today I got one step closer to that person I want to be. I got a job offer from a great agency doing a job that is pretty close to ideal, or at least what I think is ideal based on my experience so far. The salary isn't spectacular, but it is competitive for the position and a MSW with no paid work experience. I'm excited to have a purpose again and to feel productive. I'm also excited to enjoy the next week or two without stressing over money and jobs.
Hiking in the Catskills...
Monday the boy, Marley and I left for the Catskills. Our first hike was Overlook Mountain starting off the trail head on Rt. 16 which made for approximately a 12 mile hike round trip. We split it between two half days, sleeping over near the top of Overlook Mountain. Marley was in dog heaven out there on the trail. It took about 5 1/2 hours, including breaks, to reach the top. That includes taking a side trail to a scenic overlook and also hiking down to Echo Lake and walking around before hiking back to the Overlook Trail and continuing on to the fire tower. The views were amazing, and despite both of us not being fans of heights we climbed all the way up to the top. We set up camp and then came back to watch the sun set over the mountains from the tower. We camped by the scenic overlook, and it was incredible falling asleep and waking up with such breathtaking views.
My boots were not the most comfortable. They are a few years old, but I haven't done any backpacking since the trip I bought them for, and have usually just hiked in trail sneakers. Going downhill they pushed against my achilles, and my foot went numb. I tried double socks to minimize the pressure but that didn't help. Day two I only wore one pair of thicker socks and left the laces pretty loose, and that felt better. I am not sure if I need new boots or what, but I'm hoping that these will make do for this season.
The trip was awesome and next trip I'm planning to hit Indian Head Mountain, Twin Mountain and Sugarloaf Mountain all in a row.
just one of those days...
...where I'm not sure if I want to scream or cry. Nothing particularly bad happened, other than my hair getting butchered again by yet another hair place. I thought I was safe since the salon had Aveda signs everywhere, but they aren't an actual Aveda salon, they just carry the products. The hairdresser used stupid names of different hair cuts, rather than listening to what I was describing, and then proceeded to cut my hair the way she wanted, rather than the way I wanted. After and hour of trying to get her to do what I want, I just gave up, paid, and left.
I miss my hair place in Rochester. I miss Magnolias sandwiches and Jeremiah's wings and drinking good beer and running to Allison's room when I get home to talk, especially after a new haircut. I miss my house and not having to deal with traffic. I even miss Roberts.
I know I just need to get over it, and clean my room and do some laundry. I would feel a lot better if my room was clean and tidy.
Last night Ben and I hit the town park trails on foot with Marley in tow. We hiked for about an hour and then stopped for ice cream on the way home. It was a lot of fun, and Marley even got a kiddie cone. I've posted a few times on some Adirondack forums, trying to figure out a decent 2-3 day hike for this coming weekend, and am getting sick of the retarded replies. So I decided instead of trying to get solid information out of strangers, I just buy/borrow some books. I bought the Appalachian Mountain Club's book on the Catskills because it seemed thorough and it had a topographical map with it showing all of the trails. I also purchased a Falcon guide to hiking in NY which has a ton of trip ideas already put together which will be helpful in figuring things out as I get going. I went to the library and borrowed a bunch of books on hiking various areas in eastern NY as well, so hopefully between all of those books I won't run out of ideas for quite a while.
awesome weekend. again.
It seems like my weekends just keep getting better and better. I spent the weekend out of town, doing fun things with my favorite person and favorite dog. I saw Hancock, which was not as good as I had expected it to be. I hiked at Bowman Lake State Park today, which was great but it was farther away than I thought, so there wasn't a ton of time to hike around.
This weekend I'm planning to go to Country Fest and then some time between Sunday and Wednesday I am planning an overnight hiking trip to the Adirondacks. I'm thinking Avalanche Pass, but I'm not sure yet.
Happy Fourth of July
I almost ran a 4 mile firecracker race today. Last night, after writing the post, I was just itching to run something. There was one locally, and a race 4 miles or under isn't something I need to train to do. Now doing it well, or fast, is another story. Before embarrassing myself, I checked the results from the year before. Out of the approx. 150 runners, only three or four ran slower than 40 minutes. After seeing that, I decided that my superficial need to feel like I could run a race was not worth the embarrassment of potentially coming in last, or very close to it beating out a 11 year old and a 72 year old. So I stayed at home, hit the park for a short 2.5 mile run with Marley to burn off some unexpected morning stress, and then headed over to party down with the family. Spent about 6 hours swimming and throwing kids into the pool. Good workout in my book. For the run I purposefully left my watch at home and didn't bother to worry about time.
I'll be absent for a few days, but hope to get some hiking in and will post pics upon my return.
sooo... about this running thing...
Apparently it's not for me. I don't actually see a marathon in my future. Despite all of the changes in my life, I've had a good deal of time. But I just haven't stuck with the training. I was even at one point contemplating a 5 k or 4 miler for tomorrow. I could probably throw shoes on and run one tomorrow right now, despite not running for a while. I could probably pull in decent 9:30 min miles. But the constant training for something, forcing time in your schedule to train, rather than just going with the flow, like I prefer to do, is hard for me to maintain. If I had a race in the spring, I would have been all set, but conflicts kept arising. And working on a base for more than a week or two or, God forbid, doing speed work to run faster? No thank you!
I can run. I've proved it. I can run consistent 20-25 mile weeks. I have trained for, and completed, a 15k. I have no knack for training for several sports at once, and hate the run once, hike once, bike twice kind of weeks. I feel like there is not continuity in the training and don't feel like I'm getting anywhere with my "training" if I'm not focusing on one sport at a time. And in the summer it is WAY to boring to only focus on running, and I'd never do it. I prefer to be doing a different thing every day. Tennis, kayaking, hiking, mountain biking, horseback riding, swimming (aka trying not to drown) etc... Since I can't swim, triathlons are out of the question. But, I have a newfound curiosity for adventure racing. Cyclocross is out because I don't know how to train for it really and I don't have the right equipment and I haven't cared enough to follow up with it, so it's probably not something I would stick with.
So who knows. Part of me feels like a failure for not following through on specific running plans. But then I think about a friend who was telling me about a guy he knew who said he couldn't go on a mountain bike ride because he had to ride a long road bike ride to train for a 6 hr mountain bike race. That sounds so backwards to me, and he wasn't enjoying the road bike ride, and I swore I'd never be that way. I'd do what I wanted. So I don't plan on skipping a hike or mountain bike ride to get in a planned long run for some training schedule so that at the end I can just say I did it. The journey has to be fun, because it's pretty obvious, at least for me, that actually runny any distance over 6 miles is torture. I take some masochistic pleasure in the burn in my legs and adding a mile because I want to see how far I can go before I bonk, but really it's not all that fun.
I'm not the type to do things just for the sake of doing them if I'm not really enjoying it. Certainly not more than once. And I'm guessing that the 15k I ran a while back counts for the one time. So now I'm focusing on just doing whatever I feel like. I rode the roadie the other day because it seemed like a good idea. And it was fun. Just like all the hiking I've been doing has been so much fun. I finally have someone to hike and camp with, as well as my family who is planning a camping trip, which I'm excited about. Instead of talking about things, I'm actually doing them with someone who enjoys it as much as I do.
So I guess I'm doing what I need to do to think of myself as a "success" if I just keep having fun. And who knows... I might even wear the running sneakers out this year.
15 miles along the Erie Canal...
Or in my case 16 miles along the Mohawk. Today I took the road bike out for a spin. It's been a long time since I've been out for a decent length ride, and my goal was to ride out for 30 minutes and then try to make it back in the same amount of time. I did a little better, and made it back 1 minute early! The weather was gorgeous, and aside from all of the road crossings (at which there are gates blocking the pathway that you have to ride around to keep cars out) it was a great ride. I stopped about a mile in to adjust my seat, and a guy decked out in all new biking gear, and expensive gear at that, flew by me. Well, before the turn around point I caught up to him and passed him. It was a glorious feeling. I pushed hard and made sure that I was always in the highest gear I could be in without slowing down. I really pushed it, and can feel it in my legs. The saddle was awful though! That's the problem with sharing a bike with my dad; the saddle and pedals either need to me changed for each ride or I suffer with toe clips and a mens race saddle that puts pressure everywhere I don't want it too.
Now I'm off to the barn again to ride Zip with my dad. Between all of the bike saddles and horse saddles I've been riding in this week, I'm awful sore and am walking a little funny. The horseback riding has put some pressure on my left knee and ankle, but not enough that I feel pain after I get off. I think it'll just take some time to get used to it again. I'm hoping to get my dad to take some more pictures, because in every picture he took of me last night, except the one I posted below yesterday, my head is cut off. I need to get a pair of boots with a heel too. I plan on being in the barn quite a bit, and you need a heel to ride. Well If you don't want to look like an idiot who has never been around a horse before, you need a heel to ride. Rule is minimum of a 1" heel so that it stops your foot from sliding through the stirrup and getting caught if the horse takes off. I've been riding in a pair of low cut hiking boots, which are alright except for the heel.
put your ass on some class...
...ride a Quarter Horse.
I just about laughed out loud when I saw that sticker on the rear window of an ivory Lincoln Mark LT pick up at the barn today. (read over-priced-too-pretty-and-far-too-much-
of-a-status-symbol-to-ever-get-dirty-gas-guzzling-hunk-of-metal)
Anyway, I'm riding again. I haven't been riding on a regular basis since early high school when both of my parents had several horses each and I was able to saddle up and go whenever I pleased. But then mom's boyfriend moved in and they got all possessive over stuff, and dad ended up with only one foal that he bought after we sold the others. Since I was about 2 years old, you couldn't get me away from a horse. I was always in the barn. So now, my dad has Zip, who he boards at a local stable in Albany. He bought him when he was a few months old, but when we were there we were looking at another horse, and Zip had only been born the day before. I was in love, and a few months later, after Dad bought another horse, he decided to swap out the horse he bought for Zip. So Dad's trained him and been working him fairly regularly. However he's busy enough that he can't be there every day. Plus my dad has about zero patience and and you're lucky if his attention span lasts more than 1 minute. So I asked if I could ride Zip and maybe even show him at some local horse shows and spend some time really getting him into tip top shape. Dad, despite his possessiveness over his saddle and his horse, has relented and I've pretty much go free roam with Zip. I'm happy and it feels great to be back in the saddle.
Peebles Island State Park
Yesterday I hiked Peebles Island State Park in Waterford, NY. It is a small island at the junction of the Mohawk River and the Hudson River. The entire island is now a State Park. Google maps only shows one bridge to get to the Island, but there is a second that you can see if you click to satellite view on Google Maps. The second bridge comes from the north off of 2nd St in Waterford. There is parking just before the bridge where the boat launch is, if you want to bypass the $6 park entrance fee, although I was lucky to find a spot there. I actually came in from the south through Cohoes, and took the Delaware Ave bridge, paid the $6 and then was confused the by the signs as to where to park, and ended up driving out of the park across the north bridge. A car was leaving just as I pulled in to turn around, so I parked there anyway.
The park was beautiful. I was prepared for thunder showers, but we ended up hiking at 2 pm in brutally hot heat. Marley joined us, and had agood time, but the heat got to him as well. I was very tempted several times to jump into the river, but decided against it. The trail was fairly wide and flat, and would be great for families with smaller children. There are several picnic tables and places to relax. There is no railing along some of the steeper ledges though. I didn't make it to the inner trails that criss cross the island, and want to go back on a cooler day with some water and explore the island more.
It's only about 5-6 miles by water along the Mohawk River, so I'm also hoping to kayak or canoe over to it one of these days and explore the neighboring uninhabited islands. I just need to locate a local place to rent kayaks or canoes.
John Boyd Thacher State Park
Yesterday I hiked The Cliff Trail and Indian Ladder Trail at John Boyd Thacher State Park. I've been there once before, but it was several years ago and I didn't remember much at all about it. It was hot out and we managed to arrive between rain showers. It was a great hike, despite getting caught in one of the rain showers. It would have been much more enjoyable had I remembered to bring a ziploc to put the camera in in case of rain. Because I didn't we rushed for cover rather than enjoying the beauty and unpredictability of nature.
View from the Cliff Overlook
When we started the hike, it was between rain showers. The view was hidden behind a thick blanket of fog, and the visibility was only about 15-20 feet. The next picture shows most of what you are supposed to see from this point atop the Helderberg Escarpment.
it was only a frog.
So... I'm walking down the trail, enjoying the hike and the weather and the company, and all of the sudden something cold and wet and slimy hits my ankle. And I shriek like a little school girl. I really detest strange things touching me unexpectedly. Once I calmed down, I was able to take this snapshot of the evil little bastard. All in a day's hike, I suppose.
another graduation...
My little brother, Benjamin, graduated from elementary school today. Next fall he'll start Junior High School. The entire family, grandparents included, went to his graduation at the school. It was a really cute ceremony and the kids sang a song and had two readings, one about the future and one about their years at that Elementary school.
Following the graduation was a picnic at the Colonie Town Park. It was fun, despite being the only person who wasn't a parent or school aged child, so I was slightly bored. But Marley came along, and we ate burgers, played frisbee and walked a few trails. Well I played frisbee while Marley stood around completely disinterested. Unfortunately, with all the rain we have had, the trails were muddy and wet in quite a few places, so probably no riding for at least another day or two, if it doesn't rain again. I'm really hoping to get out hiking and biking this weekend though, so hopefully the weather will hold.
I started the 100 push up challenge last night with my initial test. I did 7 full push ups. I did the first day worth of push ups tonight. It was tough and I'm tired and sore. But I'm on my way to 100 push ups. Totally swawesome.
scattered thunderstorms...
that feel like they might never end. Ever. It makes it difficult to plan any outdoor activity, and riding has been out because the trails are soaked. Running it is. I don't know why it's so hard to start and make it stick, but at least I've been getting out hiking and roller blading with Marley so I'm not just sitting on my butt all the time.
I do have some camping and hiking planned for the upcoming weeks, and I'm going to try to relearn orienteering and teach my brothers as well. I'm pretty good at reading a map, but it's been a while (10 years) since I have really had to use only a map and a compass to figure out where I was.
Yesterday the family and I got on a tour bus with a bunch of other people to head to Yankee Stadium to see the NY Yankees play the Cincinnati Reds. It was a great day, despite the rain delay where everyone I was with, except myself, got soaked from head to toe. Yankees won, but the last inning was awesome because the Reds had a guy on first and third with 2 outs, 2 strikes and 2 balls. Just enough to bring it to a tie if by some miracle they hit a home run. No such luck, but it kept it interesting.
The job search is going. I had my first interview today, and have another tomorrow. More applications are out and we'll see what happens. A good thing is that the starting salary for one job I applied for was about 5,500 more than I had expected, and that's with no experience at all. Now I just have to get a job.
There is so much good going on in my life right now that it's seriously incredible.
update
I went hiking Wednesday and Thursday. Wednesday was a decent hike - probably about an hour. Thursday was shorter, only about 30 minutes because of weather. Both were good hikes though, and Marley certainly had fun.
Other than that, there's not much going on. I'm going to try to get my butt running again. I'm also joining the bandwagon and am going to partake in the 100 push up challenge. Heard about it first from Jess and after reading the website, I figured I could use a little extra upper body strength. Plus in a few weeks it'll be pretty cool to try and challenge my brother to a push up contest.
Tomorrow is the Whisker Walk at the park in the morning, and Sunday is a Yankees Game down in the city. Exciting!
lots of thunder and lightning
Last night and today have been filled with lots of thunder storms. Great to watch, but not so great for outdoor activities. Poor Marley only got out for a 20 minute roller blade walk tonight and a few trips out in the back yard. I was hoping to take him for a mountain bike ride, but alas the weather didn't cooperate.
Tomorrow is suppose to be more of the same, actually the entire week is, but I'm hoping to get out if there is a break in the weather. I need to get a few things notarized for my job search stuff and get my wheel down to the shop to get it fixed. My dad's job plugging the tire didn't work, or it wasn't where the leak was, so it lost air overnight. Hopefully they can fix it tomorrow without me having to buy a new tire or wheel. There's a small dent on the backside of the wheel where it meets the tire, and the guy who knocked my wheel loose said that might be where the leak is.
I'm hoping that weather.com is wrong about storms for the rest of the week, and there is some nice weather in the second half. I'd like to do some more hiking and have a few new places to mountain bike picked out. If not maybe some movies, reading, and more job hunting will be in order.
Better get to bed since the shop opens at 7am and I'm hoping to get there first thing to see if they have time to work on the tire/wheel. If I don't have to wait, I'll come home and go back to bed, since I just finally am starting to get a few good nights of sleep now and then and would like to keep it up.
happy father's day
Today is a nice relaxing day hanging out at home with the family.
Yesterday I got a flat tire on my way back to Albany. My first thought was AAA, since usually the shops tighten the lug nuts so tight I can't get enough torque to get them off with just a tire iron. They said it'd be at least 30 minutes, so I figured I'd see if I could do it myself. Turns out I could get the lugs nuts off just fine, minus the foot injury I got from jumping on the tire iron to loosen the first one wearing flip flops. My foot slipped off sideways, and somehow I managed to hurt the outer part of my right foot. Hurts to walk on, so I'm resting for a couple of days. Putting pressure on it hurts also, so I'll probably give it a day or two before biking too. Anyways, I got the lug nuts off, but my wheel was corroded right onto the axle, and there was no way I was getting that off. Two men came over to try it, and had no luck, so I had to wait for AAA anyway.
I had a wonderful hike Friday evening, but unfortunately the trails were not dog friendly, so Marley stayed home.
This week I'm hoping to ride at Central Park and hike the Indian Ladder Trail at John Boyd Thacher State Park, as well as hit some of the mountain bike trails down there.
bad dog.
Last night I went to the Luna Chix/Capital MTB group ride at Central Park in Schenectady. I took Marley with me. Bad idea. Over 25 people showed up to ride, and it was too big of a group for Marley to deal with. We split into three groups, but the most people Marley has ever ridden with is three, so riding with 8 was a lot for him. There's a big gap, and he's not sure where to go. When he rides with me alone, he's usually just in front of me. So we crossed the road from the parking lot, and started up the trail, but the guy in front of my lost his chain and stopped. Marley turned around and ran back to the parking lot. That was the beginning of the end. I didn't see him turn back because I was making sure the guy had the tools he needed, and then when I went to look for Marley he was gone. Eventually I went to the parking lot and sure enough he was laying right next to my car. Bad dog. I got him, put a leash on him, and we rode back over together. I decided to leave the group and ride on my own. Things were fine for a while, except when a large group of bikers had to pass us. Marley isn't the best about coming to me while I'm on my bike (I mean right over to my side, he usually will come about 5 feet away) and so he sometimes gets caught on the trail with a group coming and starts running down the trail in front of them, away from me. But we were alright. Then I decided to head back and leave, and when Marley realized we were going back to the car, he took off and headed back on his own. Bad dog. I tore after him, trying to catch him before the road. I met him at the car, and put the leash on him again, and this time we rode down the service road together with im on the leash. He needs to get more comfortable with bikes being around. I don't want him to get in the way, but his fear of them is getting potentially dangerous. He did well and we worked on some commands on our way back. It ended well, and I guess he needs some more work before we go back out again. I think the bigger group rides I will have to leave him home for. But most of my riding is solo anyway, so with a little more work I think he'll be a lot better trail companion. I guess I've been overlooking some of his bad habits because it's never been a big deal when I ride solo. Usually I ride during the day, so there isn't a lot of traffic.
It was a great ride though, and the good thing about chasing Marley is that I stop thinking about what I'm doing and just do it. Last night I hit a couple of tough sections - some skinnies and rooty technical sections that I've never hit before. It was pretty great! I can't wait to get back out there.
I'm thinking about riding at Colonie Town park again tonight around 6-ish with Marley.
still alive
I haven't been running or biking since Tuesday, but I have been roller blading with Marley a few times (about 30-45 minutes each time at an easy to moderate pace). Thursday got busy with family events, so I hope to resume after things go back to normal on Tuesday. There were three surprise birthday parties in a row this weekend, so I've eaten enough, and of course drank enough, to last me the rest of June. There's a Lune ride this week that I'm planning on, if I don't have a conflict with something else. Can't go into details now, but it's a really good thing, trust me.
Colonie Town Park Trails
I had an awesome time riding today. I hit the Colonie Town Park Trails. I've never ridden there before, despite being on the paved bike path at least a dozen times. I'd seen the entrances, but never expected that they would allow mountain bikes on the trails. Almost all of the parks in Rochester forbid mountain bikes.
The trails were much more technical than the trails we rode last night at Luther Forest. First off it was much more rocky. There were a ton of mild-moderate rock gardens. There were only a few that I couldn't ride through. There were also a lot more roots and small trees across the trails. It was definitely a trail that would be nice to ride a full suspension bike on! It was slower in most sections than Luther Forest, and there were a lot of sections that I had to slow down for. Part of that is probably skill and part just the terrain. There were three particular sections that I was very proud of myself for getting through. The first was a stream crossing that had a crossing made out of flat rocks giving you about an 8-10" path to cross. There was a gentle downhill going into it, and a steeper hill coming out of it (in the direction that I rode it). It took two tries (The first I stopped to scope it out) but I made it across and up the hill. Later I rode it again as well without stopping. The second section was a rock garden that was pretty knarly and you really needed to pick one line and stick with it precisely. There wasn't a lot of room for error, as you would be landing on about 3-4 dozen stones (flat ones sticking up from the ground as though they were stuck in sideways) with small gaps between them. I might have pictures that I'll post tomorrow, but I can't remember what I took pictures of. The third section was a bunch of sticks and log that were laid down sideways across the trail making an obstacle to go over. This one was fairly large, and is similar to one on the Chutes and Ladders trail at Dryer Rd in Rochester. It took me many times walking over it to get up the guts to ride it. Today I rode it without pausing and was very happy. They aren't so tough to ride over, but you have to commit to it and coming up on the built up log obstacles can be pretty intimidating the first few times.
Marley came with me today, and did very well despite the heat. He wasn't interested in drinking (maybe he found water somewhere?) but I did pour some on him to cool him down. I only rode for a little over an hour. I was pretty saddle sore from last night. It's partly the saddle and partly the fact that I haven't been in it two days in a row since last year. I might try switching it out, but I also plan to ride a heck of a lot more than I have been, so hopefully it won't be an ongoing issue.
lots of whoop-di and not so much do
Tonight I joined a few of the the NY Luna Chix ladies for a ride at Luther Forest in Malta, NY. It took a lot less time to get there than I had been told, so I was an hour early, rather than the 20 minutes early that I had planned for. I was a little nervous, since I didn't know anyone but everyone was nice. There were 7 or 8 of us, and we did a couple of loops on some of the trails. It was great, and I was pretty happy that I hadn't gotten much worse since my last ride about a month ago. I figured I'd be falling and crashing all over the place. At least I left the clipless pedals at home. Until I get some more time on the trails and get familiar with some of them, I'm going to stick with platforms.
It was a great ride, I made it up a few climbs, bailed on a few others, and had a great time! If the weather is alright, I'm going to hit the Colonie Park Trails with the pup tomorrow. Wednesday's ride may or may not happen. It's all hills, and I'd like to go, but who knows. We'll see what the weather is like. The weekend will be a wash, since I have family stuff, but the week after there's a Wed night ride with the Luna Chix. I LOVE it. There's so many places to ride within 30-40 minutes and lots of group rides to join. It's great!
it's been a while...
I haven't posted lately. My apologies. Life has been hectic. I helped two of my roommates move out, finished packing the rest of my stuff, cleaned the entire house, and moved to Albany among other things.
Yeah, that's right. I'm officially in Albany. It's weird no longer being in the Roc, or living in my house, or seeing my roommates everyday. I miss it, but I am happy to be where I am. It's still a big change though.
Not only have I been busy, but there's been a good deal of personal stuff going on lately, some good and some not so good. I did get out for a 3 mile run, but it was slow and hard. My first run in way too long.
Tomorrow I'm planning to join Luna Chix for a mountain bike ride in Luther Forest. I'm excited! It will be great to meet some riders from this area and hopefully get a jump start into the season, albeit a late one compared to most. Hopefully it will be okay to bring Marley with me on future rides.
Last night I also was able to contact a guy who is a trip leader for the Glens-Falls Saratoga Chapter of the Adirondack Mountain Club. They have several outings scheduled each week, and a few are even geared specifically toward 20 and 30 year-olds. It'll be nice to join them on some trips as well, and get to know some people my age who are into hiking and camping. The guy I spoke with seemed very nice and I can't wait to meet him on one of the upcoming outings.
It's nice to be meeting people in the area who have similar interests.
reflections...
I feel like something has changed inside me in the last few years. I used to be petrified of the unknowns, of being hurt, of being vulnerable, and of putting myself out there. I was so scared of how the other person might react that I kept everything buried deep inside myself. I tried to be who I thought other people wanted me to be, rather than being myself. And I've noticed this change gradually throughout the MSW program in the last two years. I've really stopped holding back. I still don't say everything that comes to my mind, but when who I am as a person or my happiness is at stake, I've stopped holding back. I'm not afraid to tell someone that I love them just because I don't know what their reaction will be. I'm not afraid to be myself because I'm scared that no one will love the person I really am. And I'm not afraid to be alone rather than stay in a relationship that isn't right for me, because I'm scared I won't find something or someone else. I get one life, and I'm putting it out there. I'm living for myself. And it's a great feeling.
Tomorrow is hopefully going to be a long day at Letchworth State park hiking some trails I didn't get to last time I was there. There are over 60+ miles of trails, so plenty to chose from. Hopefully the weather is warm and sunny.
late night excitement
So I'm hanging out at 3:30 am, as is my typical schedule lately, and I hear a car horn. It's going off nonstop. I figured it was a car accident, so I grab my cell phone and keys and head outside to check it out. There's a neighbor walking down also with a flashlight. He goes up to the truck and there is a guy asleep at the wheel, passed out with the horn going off. He got off the horn, and as the neighbor was talking to him, I called 911. His truck was still running and I was worried he was going to try to drive off and hit something or kill someone. The neighbor got the guy to turn the truck off, and a few minutes later the cops pulled up. I pointed out the truck and they went off to check it out. I hung around to see what happened, and they basically just checked his id and registration, and then tried to get him to call his gf to come and get him.
I DID IT!!!
I am officially an MSW. Graduation was yesterday, and my parents came in for the ceremony and to move my stuff back to Albany. I am debating between hanging in Rochester for the next two weeks or going to Albany and just coming back for the last weekend in May to clean the house and tie up the last of the loose ends. It's nice to be done.
mmmm... beer.
So I'm feeling better today. However not really that much less lazy than I've been lately. I took Marley to the dog park, but skipped a bike ride and run today. Instead I packed and drank some beer. I didn't even make it to Roberts to get my cap and gown yet. Better remember to do that tomorrow, or no graduation ceremony for me!
I tried Long Trail's Belgian White tonight and love it!!! It's probably one of my favorite beers right now along with Sam Adams Summer Ale and Boston Ale. Yum. The other night I tried a Summer Weizen by Smuttynose and when I looked at the label I was a little perturbed. It said best by June/July 07! I don't know how exactly a seasonal beer that was just put on the shelves the week before could be a year old, but I didn't drink it or the other one I bought. Thankfully I only bought two singles instead of a 6 pack.
stomach bug
I've been lazy. My last assignment was handed in a week ago, And since then I've done no running, biking or Frisbee. I was looking forward to tonight's Ultimate game, but unfortunately my digestive tract decided not to cooperate. I must have come down with a stomach bug last night because today has not been such a good day. I was hoping to get a road ride in before Frisbee tonight, but all I've been doing is drinking mylanta and eating saltines. Yum.
I need to get by butt back in gear. The end of this semester certainly whipped me good. But now I need to get outside and do stuff. Walking in the park and roller blading with Marley is good, but not enough for me. I still have a 10k to run, and I still have plans to do at least a half marathon this year.
If I'm feeling better tomorrow and Friday, and it's not pouring as weather.com is predicting, I'd like to get out for a road ride or run each day. The weekend is shot with graduation and moving, but after that my schedule is wide open.
I rock
I swung by the Social Work office at school today to pick up my portfolio. It certainly made my day! One of the tougher professors read it and she wrote:
Yours is one of the most coherent and well written essays I've read.
Congratulations on a succinct and insightful essay, and warmest wishes for
success.
How great is that? Totally made me feel so awesome! I'm totally going to be bragging for a little while... at least to my family.
DONE
My last assignment was handed in on Wednesday! Finally I am done with my school work. Done. Indefinitely. Whew.
Thursday I chopped off most of what was left of my hair and relaxed all day long. And I just want to say that I love the Aveda salon in Brighton and hope to find a place as great in Albany.
Now I'm hanging in Albany with my family. It's mother's day and my grandmother's birthday. It's nice to relax.
Oh, and I'm kind of glad that I'm moving. Last night about 8 houses down from me there was a robbery and shooting. Great. :-)
final countdown
15 1/2 hours until Research is done. DONE. My last assignment.
Posting has been nul. That's mainly because outside of giving Marley the bare minimum of exercise that he needs to prevent self-combustion, I am a junk-food-eating-typing-going-crazy-senioritis-inflamed-sleep-deprived madwoman. I NEED a good night's sleep. I need one night where I fall asleep, stay asleep, with no pressure to get up or write papers or go to horrible evaluations. No running. No biking. No backpacking. No WV trip. Just research and policy. As soon as this rush is over I hope to resume regular posting about interesting things, like mountain biking, running, and hiking trips. I never imagined things to be quite this insane and challenging.
I think that I am starting to come out the other side of my bout with depression. All these transitions have really floored me. I think that it's normal to feel as I did, or at least similarly, when your life completely turns upside down. I think that this time in my life will always be bittersweet. But that's okay. I'm moving forward to a new and exciting chapter of my life. And the good part is that I know happiness is coming. It's there now, in spurts. Like when I was rollerblading on the bike path near my parent's house and it was just a great day and Marley was happy and the sun was out, and I just basked in the glory of life for a few moments. Although the raising my arms in the air, basking in the sunlight part nearly unseated a passing bicyclist, who was probably laughing at me, but who cares. The difference between this bout of depression and when I was a freshman was that now I am a happy person going through a tough time. I sought out help and support, and am wading my way through this mess that is my life right now.
I'm so ready to be done, to move on, to move out, to look forward... But I know I want to say some goodbyes and properly give this chapter of my life closure. It's so monumental. I'm leaving the only real home outside of my small hometown that I have ever had. The difference is that my hometown is a place I will always return to because my family still lives there. I don't know when I will ever return to Rochester. It's no longer my home, or rather it won't be soon, in a way that I've never experienced before. I'm leaving 6 years of memories behind. 6 years of restaurants, parks, apartments, schools, people, experiences and life. It is such a good step for me, but it's such a big event in my life. And while I have extremely mixed emotions about a lot of the people here right now, I am trying to say goodbye on my terms and leave with no regrets.
so much for blog365
My daily posting has been shot to hell. Oops. School is hectic and I'm sick of writing posts that say I'm too tired or too busy to run. So I haven't been posting every day.
To be honest I've also been battling some serious depression in the last few weeks. I'm barely making it through the end of the semester. Basically every support that I have in Rochester is falling apart. The one person from school who I was close to totally screwed me over, my other next closest friend is showing his true colors as an ass-wipe, and I just don't really feel like there's anyone I can go to to really talk to even just hang out with. And it's difficult because I know that I'm leaving. Saying goodbyes would have been hard enough, but now I barely feel like I have anyone to really say goodbye to. I feel so left out of a lot of stuff. And I guess it's my own fault. Maybe I wasn't outgoing enough or something. But it would be really nice to feel included; to feel like someone cared. The loneliness of being alone in this city is really setting in deeply, and I've been struggling so much with even just day to day stuff. It was ridiculously difficult to sit through class tonight without crying. I feel so pathetic.
I am excited to head home for a weekend. I'm taking a civil service test in Albany so I can be employed by the county, which gives me an excuse to blow this town for a few days. Hopefully they are an extremely productive few days, because my last assignments are due this coming Monday and Wednesday. After that everything is over. I just have to cross my fingers, pray that I pass research, and then start packing my bags. I am hoping that being surrounded by my family will help with me feeling so lonely and depressed.
I got new running sneakers. I finally made the executive decision to ditch the Asics which were a size to small to be running in, hence the blisters on my feet. I am still getting hot spots on my right foot, but I've attributed that to the nerve damage in my ankle from 1998, and am going to have to live with it. It may ruin my hopes of running a marathon, but that's getting a little bit ahead of myself. I bought Nike Structure Triax in a mens size 10. They look and feel huge, but are super cushy and no blisters! Well, at least not in the one run I've done so far! I hope to run over the weekend.
I think I posted before about how there are mountain bike trails in Colonie Town park, which is where I usually go to run with Marley on the bike path. I am eager to try them out, but think that I will leave the bike in Roch this weekend. I have already packed the car to move all of my books permanently to Albany, with the exception of one of my bibles and my APA manual. I think trying to fit in biking might be too ambitious for only being in town for a few days and having a lot going on.
Wednesday marks the last official piece of school work that I have to do. I have ultimate Wednesday night followed by large amounts of beer and/or wine. Then Thursday starts all of the packing and cleaning I have to do before my parents get here. I'm hoping that we can get all of my stuff out there in two loads - one load in my dad's pickup which will be mostly furniture, and one load in my car. It'll probably end up being two loads in my car though, unless I sell and/or donate a lot of stuff.
I wish graduation meant more to me right now. I wish that I was sad about leaving and that I had gotten closer with other classmates and had someone to share all of this with. I think it might just take time for me to get there. Right now I just feel a lot like it was all for nothing and all I have is a lot of debt to show for it, although I know that's really not true. Right now I just need some space from this part of my life, which wont happen until I move. I wish I was in a better place to appreciate and celebrate the end of grad school, but I'm coming to terms with the fact that it's just not a big deal for me right now. So much else is going on in my life right now that I am far to emotionally empty to even begin processing the last two years.
picture perfect
Today was a great day. Blue skies and cool, but not too cold to wear a short sleeve jersey. Perfect for heading out to pound out some hills on the mountain bike with Marley tagging along. And, it's the middle of the day on Tuesday, so I had the trails completely to myself! Glorious! I really like biking alone. Less pressure I guess. So that's just what Marley and I did. I really only had enough in my for about an hour, since I did a lot of climbing and my legs just aren't there yet. I could have stayed out longer, but I am in the last 9 days of school with a lot of work to do, so I figured I shouldn't play for the entire day.
Sunday I had a horrible 4 mile run. I think it was my worst run since around the time I first started running. I had taken unisom the night before because I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping for the last 6-7 weeks. I hadn't run more than 1/4 mile and my heart already felt like it was going to explode. Now usually my first 1/2 mile is the worst until I get warmed up and into a groove. But this was different. I felt like I could not run through it. My heart was racing and it was almost scary, except that when I walked I could feel my heart slow down. So it was a 4 mile walk/run.
I had an invite to ride on Saturday, but that turned disastrous and my "friend" who invited me showed his true colors as an ass. So I think I'll enjoy biking and running on my own for a few weeks until I move. Then there's so much going on and I can't wait. June is going to rock!
long run
miles: 8.28
time: 1:19:29
pace: 9:35
Wanted to do this route for a while, but I didn't want to jump back into running after my hiatus with such a long run. Chose it today instead of a mtn bike ride. About 2 miles in I almost turned around to go back home, but I pushed on until I was more than half way so I had no choice but to go forward. That's why I love loops and hate out and backs. I don't carry water, which is starting to affect me now that my long runs are 8-12 miles instead of 5-6 miles. I'm not sure what the best solution is, but today I found a hose and was so happy! Though I was hot and ended up drinking too much which gave me a stomach ache for the last two miles. Before the run I drank 10 oz electrolyte water, and drank the other 10 oz when I got home.
The mountain bike ride I skipped was a group ride on the Greenway Trail. Basically a multi use trail that is wide, strait, flat and BORING. It probably would have been good for training/endurance, but whatever. The run was the better choice I think. Tomorrow I'm contemplating a few things: riding my road bike to and from school for a meeting I have, playing pickup frisbee, or going to Dryer for some mountain biking. I'll figure it out tomorrow I guess.
socks and blisters
Asics socks stink. They have been giving me blisters on my toes for some time now. Blisters stink too. Thankfully I have not had much pain from said blisters, but I am sick of them none the less. I've tried other socks and they have all sucked as well. Part of my problem is that I am a size 10. Size 10 usually lies between sock sizes, so they are either too tight or too loose and either way I get blisters.
However, I have had a running sock epiphany. Smartwool Phd socks. The size medium are just the perfect size and no blister! Yay!
thigh muscle is healing...
miles: 4.77
time: 44:53
pace: 9:24
Last night I didn't get a lot of sleep since I was basically up all night working on a paper. I pretty much got about three hours. And drank a lot of coffee. I don't know what it was about yesterday, maybe just pms, but I was eating everything I could get my hands on. Hopefully I burned some of those extra calories by exercising my mind all night long. Or with today's run.
My thigh has been tight and I feel some pain (it's gotten much better from Monday) when I lift my leg up, either to take a step or go up stairs. I skipped frisbee tonight, since I wasn't planning on doing any kind of exercise tonight and had none of my stuff with me. The run was great. It was a great pace for me, especially considering how inconsistent I have been lately. Marley did well, and I only stopped once, for about 20 seconds while Marley pooped. I was running and felt a tug. I turned around and right in the middle of the sidewalk Marley was taking a dump. Thankfully there was a garbage bin right there since it's trash night, so it was a quick cleanup and we were on our way. No other stops, even for lights or traffic. I managed to be able to run through every intersection I came to. My endurance has really improved since December. I feel great.
Now for dinner and finally some sleep!
darn professors...
Come one. Due dates are coming up and I'm finally in a productive mode! But now everything is getting extended. What was due Friday got pushed to Monday, and my policy project, which was due Monday got pushed back a week. I still have a big paper due this Wednesday, plus my Research proposal which I should get back Wed, and will be due 2 weeks from Wed.
So now I'm really contemplating going home this weekend, running the 10k, and putting off homework for a little while longer. But, if I hear from Albany County and have to take the exam, then I need to go back to Albany the following weekend.
Oh decisions, decisions.
hills and more hills
miles: 3.86
time: 36:55
pace: 9:34
This run came after, almost immediately after, an hour and a half bike ride at Ellison Park Wetlands Trails. That includes about 20 minutes worth of breaks. The heat is hard on Marley, so I try to take it easy and stop frequently to give him water. He's a trooper though, and loves it. The run was ridiculously hard. Aside from running in the hot sunlight at 4:30 in the afternoon, doing it right after the bike ride was difficult as well. I hadn't even cooled down yet. And it's not like I need to do bricks for anything. I guess it was just for fun. Well and so I only had to shower once today, instead of after each workout. :-)
There were lots of hills on the bike ride, and the smaller hills on the run killed me because I was so tired already. Overall it was awesome. Except for the asshole who is digging "stairs" into all the hills on the trails at the wetlands. It made a few sections completely unrideable.
Off to eat! I'm starving!
shhh! nap time!
IMG_7559
Originally uploaded by di5308
Literally I could not move. Esther was sick and hadn't slept much the night before, so she was cranky. You couldn't put her down or she would wake up screaming. So I offered to hold her while Chrissy took a shower and a nap of her own. I have NO idea how single parents do it. Esther is usually much happier and a very easy baby, but still, I would need someone to help. I really loved holding Esther while she slept, and didn't want to put her down anyways. :-)
miles: 5.56
time: 54:30
pace: 9:48
Nice long run after a not running much at all lately. Was going to do 4, but then I keep thinking about the 10k in Albany next weekend. I haven't registered yet, and figured I'd put it off a little while longer, since life happened and I got side tracked from training. I still might do the 10k. I probably won't decide until Thursday whether or not I have time to go to Albany and run and still get all of my homework done.
Also today I headed to Letchworth for some hiking. I didn't get there until about 4 pm, but still had time to hike about 5 miles of trails and enjoy the weather and scenery. It was wonderful. I have done no homework yet this weekend, but I'll probably spend tonight and tomorrow working on stuff.
first mtn bike ride of the year!!!
Rode for an hour after work at Tryon Park today. It was a good workout, but so rooty and steep, which made it very slow. I like fast, flowy single track. Marley went with me and did very well. It was a lot for him since he's been relatively inactive lately, but he did well and since I was so slow, he didn't have to be running all the time. Half the time he was walking faster than I was!!!
I came across this guy hucking his bike off a jump in the middle of the woods with a friend taking pictures. He did it about 6-7 times in a row, at least what I saw when I was in that area. I snagged some video of one of the jumps. Pretty sweet.
macbook
Spent a fortune, but the Apple store was at least able to recover everything from my old macbook hard drive, which they then transferred to the new macbook while I waited. I have all of my papers, pictures and music. That was many months and dollars worth of information, so it's a huge relief to have everything back.
Other than that, not much is new. I had ultimate tonight, but I wasn't feeling so hot. I still played for about 8 points or so. (That means being on the field for about 45 mins total.) It was fun, but chilly after the sun went down. No running or biking to report on yet, but I might have a road ride planned for Friday, probably about 30 miles total.
Everything has been on hold lately, while I struggle to get school work done. The good thing is that my internship is over tomorrow, so hopefully I'll be able to get a few runs in during the next few weeks. I have two more weeks of nothing but paper writing, then it's over. I have had no energy to do much lately because I feel so completely emotionally wrecked with everything going on. Hopefully things lighten up soon.
*sigh*
No word on the macbook yet. I'm anxious over the hard drive more than the laptop being fixed at this point. I realized this morning that I had not backed up any of the pictures from Chrissy and Esther being in town, in addition to two papers that are due soon and aren't backed up.
Money is money, and the laptop is just a thing. I was mad, but I really do have it in perspective with the things that really matter in life: people, animals, relationships, etc... I know that I am really blessed for all that I do have, and the macbook dying does not change any of that.
Not much to update. Life has been messy and chaotic lately. I'm still playing frisbee, but any plans for running, traveling, etc have all been put off. I'm just doing what I can to survive the next few weeks. This is really the most difficult transition that I've ever been through. I'm completely drained and I'm barely staying afloat. I am trying to enjoy what I can: a conversation with a professor, a walk with Marley, the warm weather... It's difficult, but I know I'll get through it.
my beloved macbook....
You are in the computer hospital now, and I am so sad and devastated. It is so hard to be hopeful when I know how serious the damage is. I'm sorry she spilled a beer all over you. I never meant for it to happen. I tried to wipe you off, to air you out, to save you. It just wasn't enough. I hope the mac techs can fix you up nice. You might have to have a motherboard transplant, which I am praying my applecare insurance covers. At the very least I hope that I can salvage your hard drive for files. Not to be insensitive to you, but I really need to get those papers that are due this week and next week out of you. I'm not trying to use you, I love you. But please, if you have to leave this world for macbook heaven, please at least let the mac techs clear out your hard drive! Please!
it probably won't matter, but...
I'm going to ditch my Nalgene for a more sustainable and less "large, evil, conglomerate" made product, like Sigg.
This article is what made the difference.
I have no idea what the realistic affects are, but hey, I'm impressionable, so why not go dump $15-20 on a new water bottle. :-)
ultimate rocks...
Had my first pick up game of the spring league last night. I got there late, because my professor kept us nearly 20 minutes late, but still made it intime to play almost all of the game. There are a couple of new people on the team (that's part of the point of draft league - to teach new people and play for fun, not competition) so it's nice to not be the only one still learning what to do. I am getting a much better idea of defense and where to make the cuts on offense, and I've even started picking up the zone defense better. You would think that zone would be less running, but I played part of the cup, and ended up running my butt off trying to stay with the disc. It was a ton of fun, and the people on the team are all really nice.
It looks like Schenectady, Albany and Saratoga all have pickup games a few times a week, so it's nice to know when I move to the Albany area, I can still play!
when did my bladder shrink to the size of a pea?
I remember in college being able to sleep for 14 hours at a time without having to get up to use the restroom once. And that included those nights when prior to bed I had consumed copious amounts of mt dew and diet pepsi. And now, I can't go more than 5-6 hours without using the restroom. And I have to go twice before bed. Twice! And now that I've started drinking coffee as though it was the liquid from the fountain of youth, I am always in the bathroom. What the hell? So much for improving my hydration for running/biking.
Speaking of which, excuse me while I slip out to the restroom.
elmwood loop *Edit*
Miles: 4.12
time: 40.00
pace 9:42
I was going to go for a longer run, but it was a little hotter than Marley is used to, which is my fault for waiting until late in the afternoon to go. So we took it easy an instead of 6-7 miles only did 4. We took the Elmwood loop, the 4 mile loop that I have run many, many times. 6-7 probably would have been too much anyways, and I want to have energy for ultimate tomorrow.
*edit* as I was still writing the above post, Jen walked in and dragged me off to pick up, which we biked to. So I ran, 30 minutes later grabbed my cleats, hopped on my bike and pedaled my ass off to frisbee. I ran around on the field, not knowing what I was doing for about 30 minutes out of the hour that I was there, and then pedaled my ass off back home.
Frisbee was awesome, and the field was very muddy, just the way I like it! ;-) I'm slowly learning. Although I'm picking up the throwing very quickly.
The last .8 of a mile to my house is all downhill and on my road bike I can easily hit 25 mph or more. So I pedal my ass off and take up the whole lane so some asshole doesn't try to sneak past me. It's usually not an issue since I'm going fast enough to keep up with traffic. Today though, a chick driving a black SUV pulled out right in front of me, and I had to swerve and brake not to hit her. So I kept up with her, and when she pulled onto a dead end, I followed. I told her that she had pulled out in front of me and I nearly hit her, and asked her to more aware of bikers. I told her that I was keeping up with traffic, going at least 25 mph, and for my safety and safety of other bikes if she could please try to more aware. She apologized, and hopefully it will make a difference. I tried to be calm, did not yell, and tried not to do anything to make her feel like I was harassing her or anything. I just wanted to let her know, because if I didn't say anything, she'd never know that I nearly slammed into the back of her SUV because she cut me off. Hopefully, awareness will make a difference
new pre-graduation mental health trip ideas...
So I've been dying to take a trip. Mountain biking or hiking, either is fine with me. I'd prefer to drive less than 8 hours each way. Probably 8-9 days including driving. Initially I was thinking Pisgah because I've heard great things and never been there before. However it's a LONG drive to do solo. Definitely do-able though. The potential problem with going somewhere to mountain bike is Marley. I want to bring him, but then he poses the issue of being off leash while I am biking. I don't want to drive that far to have to go home because he can't be out there with me.
Next thought was to go hiking and eliminate the need for him to be off leash. (I'd still let him off but he could at least be on a leash if he needed to be.) So I thought about hiking the section of the Appalachian Trail that goes through the Green Mountains in Vermont. It's feasible in the time frame I have and would be a pretty sweet trip. Potential problems are carrying enough food and water for both Marley and I, and what to do with transportation, since it would be a one way hike. There are some shuttle options, and the section would be relatively close to my parents in Albany, but trying to make it back to Rochester before graduation means I have to start/end on weekdays, so getting dropped off or picked up would be tough with my parents work schedules.
I thought about some out and back hiking in the Adirondacks, which I have not looked into very much yet, but is a definite possibility. There is also the possibility of having company for the weekend days.
The next thought was WV for some hiking/mountain biking. The issue of Marley being off leash while I'm biking still exists, and I currently have a post up on the mtbr.com forums to see how much of an issue that might be.
So many thoughts about what to do when I really should be doing my papers and homework so that I can at least graduate.
P.S. I refer to the trip as a mental health trip because it's necessary to do it soon for my own personal mental health.
two flat tires...
...that just needed to be pumped up.
miles: about 13
time: 40
speed: 18-19 mph
The tires must have just lost air in the 6 months since they were last pumped. And that was only to ride up and down the street; the roadie's last real ride with me was over two years ago. That's how much I hate road biking. Well since the last time I was hit by a car.
Anyways, today I pumped up the tires and took a nice 40 minute ride around Brighton. The original path was just under 10 miles, but I added on about another 3-4 because I was having fun (gasp!) so I think the total miles was probably 13. Not to shabby, especially for my first bike ride of 2008. I pushed myself and tried to stay in the highest gear I could without slowing down from how fast I was currently riding. I am so dead on the hills! The biggest one wasn't even that big and I pushed myself as hard as I could to not have to downshift, but it was tough. From there it was a fast downhill cruise to the house though, so it was a good end to the ride. Until the mountain bike trails open up for the season, it looks like I will be putting in a good amount of riding on the roadie. I'm even contemplating riding to school tomorrow, but that would mean a ride home in the dark.
Off to the bike shop for tubes and possibly a new jersey and mtb shorts. Most of my biking gear is from 2004-2005 and most of my jersey's don't fit me. Some I ordered a size small, and since I've put on some weight in the last 4 years, they don't fit at all. I'm alright with that, because I am so much healthier now. But either way, I need at least one new jersey this year. And my mtb shorts are just mens board shorts that I layer over a pair of spandex bike shorts. A real pair is definitely in order. I'm getting really excited!
My trip to Pisgah may or may not happen. With my recent breakup, and almost definite move to Albany, I might not have the time to go. If I don't, I will definitely try to fit in something else that is just closer to home. I'll have to go through the plans again to see what I have the time for. I was planning on bringing Marley with me, but never even got as far in my planning as to find out if I could in the first place. I'm not sure how much trouble I would get in for having him off leash, if he's allowed at all, or if he'd be allowed in the campsites and such. I'd still like to go, so hopefully I can figure something out.
beautiful spring weather!!
miles: 4.77
time: 44:47
pace: 9:23
Definitely a negative split! I felt slow and tired for the first two miles. I was on about a 10 min/mile pace, although that is estimating since I didn't use my iPod to track my run. I hauled for the last few miles. It felt great to run again.
I tried a pair of Asics Gel Kinesis 13 sneakers that I've had for a while, but never ran in much because I haven't cut out a hole for the iPod sensor to fit in. They were horrible. I have blisters, had bad hot spots on the balls of my feet, especially the right one which got sore then numb, and my feet rubbed all around in them. I know they are knew, but I've worn them a few times for tennis and stuff, so I don't think it has much to do with being broken in or not. I think it will be time for new Nikes in the next few weeks.
Today I also slept in (FINALLY!) and took a hike with Marley, Katie and her two dogs. It was great weather and I even wore shorts and flip flops!! Now I'm just eagerly awaiting the trails to dry up so I can get out mountain biking soon!
I also was researching mtb trails in Albany area, and it turns out that at the Colonie Town Park, where Ben plays football and I run on the bike path, there are about 6 miles worth of mtb trails that I never knew of. Very cool! It's not riding distance from Vicki's, but only a 5 min drive.
rain, rain, go away.
Yesterday was long and boring. Today was more of the same. I ran to Roberts for an appointment and miscellaneous errands. It's rainy, so I'm not doing much else. Tomorrow is 50's and sunny and Sunday is 50-60's and sunny. Yay! I'm not sure what, but I'll be outside doing something. :-)
ultimate
Today Jen emailed me and invited me to play Ultimate Frisbee pick up tonight. I knew I'd be late because of school, but decided to go anyways. I played for an hour and scored my first ever goal! It was a lot of sprinting, and I have no clue what I'm doing, but I still went for it. Pick up is great because most people are really friendly and will take the time to teach you. Having Jen there was great too, because it encouraged me to play more than I might have otherwise. I can't wait until spring league starts! They draw teams tomorrow, so then I'll get more info.
In other news, I have finally figured out a few of the questions plaguing me, or at least I got fed up with agonizing over them, so I made a choice and said screw it. I feel relieved. I still don't know where I'll be living or working, but I'm open right now to be in either place. And I know that I'll be making the decision for myself and my career and my family.
something different
I've always wanted to be a cyborg. Now maybe it's possible with just a little ink...
This first one looks like a real wound!
6 words that sum up your life
life is full of sweet mistakes
bike. run. marley. live. laugh. love.
the trails are where I'm home
life is short, live it now
tired and sore.
Skiing today was totally awesome. The snow was even better than yesterday and it was warmer out. I was a little sore and tired from yesterday, but I put in another 4 solid hours on the slopes. Nothing like cramming all of my season's skiing into one weekend! I'm about to take Marley to the canal path, which is cleared of snow, for a 4 mile stroll with me on roller blades.
I have been disappointed that I haven't been running much this last two weeks, but I was counting the miles for the month and I ran over 60 miles in March, so I guess I can't be too hard on myself. Hopefully I'll hit 80 miles in April.
blah, blah, blah
I haven't felt like posting lately. Running is off. I'm totally overwhelmed with homework and job hunting. I wish my roommate would turn his damn light off when he leaves the house.
Skiing today was awesome. I wasn't sure if I'd be meeting Mike or not, but he showed up an hour after I got there, so we met up and did a bunch of runs. I put in 5 hours on the slopes today. A few good crashes, and one "I'm-in-way-over-my-head" black diamond run that took way too long. I was too stubborn to hike it down the mountain, but too scared to try so I was basically stuck. It was rediculous. I am Lame. Capital L. The problem was that the middle was all moguls, so I only had about 15 feet between the edge of the trail and the moguls, which wasn't enough for me to turn. I half slid and half side-stepped my way down.
Going back tomorrow. Excited. Then comes spring. At least according to weather.com
last chance...
I'm going to bristol Mountain tomorrow for some "last chance" skiing. They got 6-12 inches of powder Thursday night in a snow storm that hit the whole area. Surprisingly I wasn't even bummed by the snow. I know it won't last long and was excited for the possibility of getting some time in skiing. I haven't been in two years since I got a concussion while attempting to snowboard in very icy conditions. Skiing seems way more appealing than running right now too!
two
miles: 2.0
time: 18:42
pace: 9:21
Running on an empty stomach with a caffeine headache in the cold rain on practically no sleep was a stupid idea.
haze...
Today I drove to work in a complete haze. I should have called in sick, but it would look bad despite the fact I have no clients to see today. And I'd feel bad for not spending Chrissy's last day with her if I was just going to call in sick. And it is my fault I'm in a haze because I should have gone to bed earlier last night.
I have had less than 7 hours sleep in the last two nights combined. Driving yesterday was fine, but this morning I was seriously checcking out during the drive. I was paying so little attention to my drive that I made it all the way to work before I relized that I forgot to eat my toast and stop for coffee, my only hope for staying awake and having any sanity througout the day.
I feel like I have totally screwed myself as far at the 10k goes. There's a part of me who really wants to just bail on this one and find another one that's a week or two farther away so that I can get back into my rhythm before I race. The other part of me wants to do it to do it, no matter how much I suck, since I know that I can complete the distance and not worry about performance. Plus the 5ish hours of driving that day to get to and from the race plus going by myself. It's not ideal, but what is?
There are some alternative races in Albany, including the Spring Runoff on April 26. It's a flat course on the bike path in Albany. Gives me a few weeks to get my butt back in gear after the holiday and vacation, and it eliminates all of the driving by myself the day of the race, since I'll only be a few miles away and will have my parents drive me to and from the race. It's quite a bit more "ideal" than drving to Ithaca by myself. I guess another thing that makes me just want to go and run in Ithaca anyway is my fear that if I don't make myself run it, I might just not get around to it, or keep finding things that get into the way of it. It's a battle with myself. I feel like I have something to prove, but what does it matter if I run an official 10k "race" or just run the same distance on my own? Either way I'm out there running the miles, whether it's timed or not. I don't have to make a decision right now, as I can register on race day.
Hopefully the weather holds and I can get in a short run tonight and try to get back into the swing of things. I had every intention to run more over break but there was all this good food and family things to keep me distracted from running. And, even though it was nice out, it was kind of cold and windy still. I am sick of being teased with spring. I just want nice weather and no more snow!
Tuesday and Wednesday posts...
My niece, Esther, is the CUTEST baby ever! She's walking and talking and loves "ar-ley" and "ack obby" (aka Marley and Black Bobby, one of my mom's cats. She does not like applesauce with berries because it is a dark purplish color, but can be tricked into eating a whole container if distracted. And she dumped about 753,754,542 Cheerios onto the floor during my visit.
Tuesday I ended up waking up at 8 (what the heck people, this is my vacation!!!!) and driving to my mom's to spend the day with Chrissy and Esther, who was up all night with a cold. Because of that Chrissy hadn't slept and so I did my best to take over baby-duty so that she could rest a little bit. Spent last night on the couch and got about 2 hours of sleep over a 4 hour period of time. Spent today with Chrissy and Esther and driving back to Rochester. I'm beat! Work tomorrow! Ick.
The first time in five years...
...that my brother, sister, father and I have all been in the same room together. A lot of firsts this week. It's been a great day!
happy easter
miles: 6.0
time: 59:24
pace: 9:54
Hopefully everyone had a wonderful Easter. I had three easter meals: dinner last night, brunch today, and dinner tonight. I really need to get my butt in gear. I really feel like I have been such a slacker with running this past week and now that I need to get some miles in before the race in two weeks. I've been so discouraged with the ongoing cold and windy weather. I really just want to run outside in shorts and a tank. I know that it's coming soon, but the last two weeks have been really long in that sense. Today's run was slow and long, but a run all the same.
having a hard time letting go...
I am having a tough time right now. I find it so difficult to watch someone being hurt and realizing that I have no control over it. Someone else does, and can make a decision to make things better, but that person won't. In my opinion they are being weak and selfish, but I'm having such a hard time accepting that it is my opinion and not hard fact. I know what could be done to fix, but I can do it myself, and thus I find myself having to sit back and watch one of the most important people in my life be crushed and devastated because of someone else's actions. It sucks. There's not really a better word for it. And the person who could be doing something is also someone I care deeply for. I am struggling with trying to understand that person, when it just does not make any sense to me. I just don't know what else to do.